Friday, November 9, 2007

When the psychologist doesn't like you

I have posted before about how DH says that lately his psychologist seems to ask him a lot of questions about me and not too much about DH. Well, today, DH went to his psychiatrist who basically told him, "the medicines are doing what they're supposed to, but you're flunking in the therapy department." She gave him a list of things he is supposed to work on with his therapist.

DH told me that he feels as if ever since he talked to his therapist about how he stole the gold dollars from me, his therapist's attitude towards him has changed. He feels that his therapist doesn't like him any more, and he feels that there is no longer a bond between them. He also still thinks that the therapist has the "hots" for me, which to DH, explains all the questions that the therapist asks about me. I'm pretty sure that's not the case, but I suppose its possible. I tend to kind of think that there's just more to it than DH is picking up on, maybe there's a therapeutic reason for the questions, but maybe not. Regardless, DH has been coming home from therapy saying that the therapist cut the visit short by a half hour, or that all they did was talk about me, and nothing about DH. I'm not sure what to advise here, but I guess that no matter what the real truth is about the situation, DH needs to have a therapist that he feels comfortable with, who doesn't "have the hots" for his wife, and who wants to spend time tackling the real issues, so that he isn't "flunking" therapy any more.

It's kind of a weird situation though, because we don't know what the psychologist is actually doing and maybe he has good reasons for what he is doing. But I kind of think that if DH or I questioned him, that if he truly doesn't like DH, then he would probably get defensive.

The trick is, getting DH to take the initiative to make a change. It's been months since he's decided to file for bankruptcy, and that's not going anywhere...I hope he makes a change soon, because if he doesn't feel like he's getting much out of therapy any more, then something needs to change for sure.