Wednesday, November 21, 2007

It's all about him (or maybe I'm wrong)

Today was another crazy day. I got home from work at 6:45 am, then I let the dogs out, woke up dd and got her on the bus, tumbled into bed at 7:30am. I had to get up at 10:30 though, because DD had an orthodontist appointment--she got braces today--and her orthodontist is an hour and a half away. So we drove there and back, got home around 3:30.

As soon as we got home, I tried to go back to bed, but the bill collectors kept calling and it bothers DH to take the phone off the hook, so I really didn't sleep much, although I did get some good snuggles with the kitties :-)

At 5:30 I had to get up again to go and pick up some of DD's prescriptions from the pharmacy. As soon as I got up, DH asked what we were going to have for dinner. "Mac-n-cheese and Spam", I said. He asked if I could make another Caesar salad, I said ok. Then he asked if I could make a double batch, but I didn't have enough ingredients, so I said no. So then he said, "We need paper napkins." "Oh--and we need light bulbs." I told him that I did not have money for those things and he got kind of offended. I got more offended than him, though, because it seems like he ALWAYS ALWAYS "needs" something.

So....I went to the pharmacy, then I had to stop by the nursing home to visit with my mom. She was really excited because one of the therapists had said that they are looking at my mom going home to her assisted living apartment "maybe next week." So my mom was all smiles, and that was fun. She told me that the therapist was going to bring her to her apartment tomorrow (the nursing home and the assisted living apartments are attached to each other) to see how she would do with things like getting out of bed and going to the bathroom. So right away I went "uh-oh...." and after bidding my mom ":adieu", I ran down to her apartment to make sure it was ok...changed the litter box, and cleaned up a hairball.

Then I ran home to make supper, knowing full well that DH wasn't going to be satisfied....

I started cooking...DD was showing off her new braces in the living room, and all of a sudden, DH came out into the kitchen. I guess I just assumed he was going to ask for something more, like homemade cheesecake for dessert or something (that's kind of a joke--I was already running really tight on time just making Mac-n-Cheese)....and he just looked at me and said "How can I help you?" For a second I wasn't sure if I'd heard him right. I stopped and looked at him, and then I realized he was serious. I was so surprised I just started to cry right there. I had no idea how wound up I was until that moment. DH clearly was surprised by my reaction, at first, too, but then I think he must've kind of realized that he hasn't "helped" for so very long....Having him offer to help meant so very much to me....he used to help me all the time, before the bipolar; but the bipolar has made him take me so much for granted sometimes I just forget what it's like to have willing help.

He probably won't remember much about it the next time I'm frazzled and not meeting his "needs", but I'll just take today and hold it close to my heart....


Pann said...

Aw, I hope your holiday was filled with more of these kinds of moments.

Happy TG.