Friday, November 30, 2007

Something happy brings new worries

DH got a job. Apparently he interviewed for this job before the worst of the bipolar showed up, they hired someone else, that person didn't work out, so DH got the call. He is very excited.

It's a type of work he's done in the past, so he's confident that he can do a good job. Me? I'm very excited in one way, as this job, if it works out, could double our income. And it's so nice to see DH looking so excited and acting confident again.

But I'm terrified for about a zillion "overprotective wife" reasons:
1) What if his memory problems cause issues at his job?
2) How is he going to be able to go to all of his appointments? The new job is an hour and a half away from home...
3) What if he just "can't handle" it, and ends up losing this job, too? Will that put him "over the edge"? Will it make his illness worse? Will he try to kill himself?
4) What if he starts spending again?
5) He still hasn't filled out the bankruptcy forms--how is DH having an income going to affect that? And they will probably garnish his wages (whoever gets there first, I imagine...)

In short, I'm worried that while this is something potentially wonderful, if it doesn't turn out as planned, it could be worse than DH never having gotten a job in the first place. I hope that's not the case, of course, but I always try to "plan for the worst, hope for the best."


Pann said...

When life is such a rollercoaster, it is hard to take the good times and just accept them.

Take a deep breath - you are right to hope for the best.

My own brother is very similar, I think, to your DH. When something good comes along, he's really excited but it takes so little to pop that balloon: when it pops he sinks way down.

Hang in there, and hopefully the drama that ensue won't be too serious.