Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Bipolar hunting solution

I think we have worked out a solution to the deer hunting situation that I can live with.

The guns will be locked at all times, with DH's friend in possession of the key(s). The guns will only be unlocked for hunting, and if DH's friend or I determine that we are concerned about his mental state at the time, the guns will remain locked. After hunting season, the guns will go back to my mother-in-law's house. DH agrees that he is ok with this. I think he believes that I am on some kind of power trip, out to just boss him around or something. When I made it clear that I really don't care what happens to the guns as long as he can be refused access to them if his mental state dictates, he seemed to be less angry, but I still think he doesn't really get it, that this is not me being the "controlling bully" (that's what he has called me in the past, when I've tried to get him to see that certain things that I advocate are in his best interest(s)).

That's been the toughest thing about this whole mental illness thing, HE expects that I (and everyone else) treat him as if he was a normally-functioning adult, and becomes angry when that isn't the case. Even when it is pointed out that right now, he is not a normally-functioning adult, it doesn't matter. So, sometimes I give in to the benefit of a doubt, and treat him as if he was a normally-functioning person, and I end up disappointed, because he continually fails to hold up his end of the bargain. And then the next time it happens, he doesn't remember it at all, so we do it all again.

I always thought that a person with, say, depression, was just sad all the time, or maybe slept a lot. I thought that a person with bipolar was either really really happy or really really sad. Nobody ever told me about this "losing touch with reality" stuff, and the fact that I see it is bad, but the fact that he DOESN'T see it, is even worse.


Helpmeet @ Home said...

Oh my goodness. your blog is exactly what I've been searching for. My DH is bipolar (rapid cycler)and I can so relate to some of the things you said here. I look forward to exploring the rest of your blog and I will pray the Lord keep you strong and your husband understanding.

Helpmeet @ Home said...
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