Saturday, October 13, 2007

Friends and the Bipolar Hubby

This weekend again, DH has his two best friends over. Usually I abhor company, but I really seem to relax more lately if there is someone else around to keep an eye on DH.

He is still very upset about his brother and wife, every time he talks about it, he gets so agitated, I have to remind him to try not to think about it. He's truly as upset as if he was the one who had been cheated on. Every time he talks about it, he ends up needing to take a pill to calm down. From what I know, though, DH's brother is hurt, upset, depressed, but doing about as well as you could expect.

I think DH's friend Jim (the one who served in Iraq) is starting to see more of what has been going on. He's really been treating DH as if nothing was wrong, but guess what? DH has been spending Jim's money as fast as Jim can get it out of his pocket. I think Jim is starting to see that now. I know Jim gave me a weird look when DH asked me for the check card to buy food, and I wouldn't give it to him, I really wish I would've somehow been able to explain that any food in the house is there because I did NOT let DH have the check card...

Anyhow, one of the things I've been noticing is that DH's friends are really going out of their way to help me around the house, where they never did that before. Jason did ALL of the dishes before I woke up, and Jim, who is also building me the new duck/chicken setup, took care of all of them (ducks and chickens) before I left for work. I went out to do my evening chores and they were all done. It feels really good to have people being considerate again. Not that Jim and Jason have ever been inconsiderate, they're truly quality people. But before all the stuff with DH happened, they were just DH's friends and they really pretty much stayed out of the "helping the friend's wife" thing. It's been so many months where every single thing is always about DH, his ups, his downs, his meds, his appointments, his spending, his lack of job, lack of motivation, etc., and I've kind of lost sight of me in the process. And it feels really good to have someone help out, even if it isn't my DH. More "manly" stuff has gotten done at our house in the last week than has been done all year, and that feels good, too.

Oh, and since infidelity seems to be the topic of the week, don't worry about any infidelity issues with Jim or Jason, they're just nice guys who are friends with my DH. I could never ever do that to DH, and I won't. But I do appreciate them very much, that's for sure. And sometimes they both make a point out of telling DH how great I am (I believe it's an attempt by them to get DH to see how much he has been taking for granted and all that), and I do enjoy that too, because even if DH is not able to appreciate me right now, the fact that his friends think highly of me makes me remember that I am valuable.