Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Good thing I didn't bet the farm, huh?

Well, as I knew he would, "That Guy" is back. I just got off the phone with him. And I need to back up a little so you understand everything.

First off, DH's therapist is supposedly ADAMANT that DH join a gym so that he gets some exercise. I told DH I would pay for a month at the gym in town. Last night I got him a coupon for a free week at that gym. About a month ago, he said he didn't have any sweatpants to wear to the gym (I know it was another way to get me to spend money, but just in case he really was using them as an excuse, I found some sweatpants at WalMart for $3 that were his size.) Then, he told Jim that he needed MORE sweatpants (can you believe it?) and Jim bought him 3 more pairs. So, with that in mind,

Today, he woke me up to tell me that he needs new shoes for the gym. Now, DH wears a size that is not commonly found at Walmart, so his shoes are usually pretty expensive (by my standards, anyhow)....usually upwards of $50), so I was extremely hesitant to rush out and buy shoes "for the gym". I told him that I did not have the money for shoes right now, we need to wait until payday, and I might not even have it then. He'd just have to make due, maybe he could walk or exercise at home, if he couldn't go to the gym without the shoes. He said "Jim's got the money, I can just tell him you'll pay him back." I argued with him for a while longer, but DH and Jim took my car and GOT SHOES. Ok, fine. I'll figure out a way to make it work.

Then, DH didn't understand why I wasn't all that happy to see his new shoes. So I tried to explain. It was futile, of course. I gave him a check to pay for his therapist, and he told me he was going to cancel, anyhow. Then he said he didn't have enough gas to get to therapy (20 miles away). I let that go, because earlier this week, I knew DH had $40 in his pocket. PLUS a $10 gift card from the grocery store. PLUS I gave him $20 to get a $10 haircut, and he told me himself that he went out to eat with that. So too bad if he has no gas. That's how things work if you spend all your money on stupid stuff.

So, anyhow, I gave him a call while I was on the way to work, and he was moping around about how he didn't have any gas at all, not even enough to make it into town. I didn't volunteer much, I am so sick of handing him money....it's time he shaped up. Then I commented on how nice a day it was (74*F, no mosquitos, nice little breeze, sunny) and he said "I'm just trying to figure out how I'm going to find some more gas." I told him he would do well to do something outside and enjoy the day, because the next three days are supposed to be in the 40's and 50's and lots of rain. He ignored me, and shortly after, my cell phone lost the signal.

So, cut to the phone call tonite. I'm still not all that thrilled about all of the above, but I'm thinking that maybe he's come out of it by now, so I call him, and he's too busy watching a movie to talk to me. Then he called me back and told me this: Ever since he got ths shoes, I've been wanting to start a fight. And the phone was ringing all day today. And he was driving and almost hit Kirby. And I nagged him when I "ordered him to go outside" and put him in a bad mood. I told him I'd talk about it when DH came back. And I don't want to talk to "That Guy". So that set him off, with "how come every time I'm angry at you, you say it's "That Guy"? I said "because DH doesn't get angry over stuff like this." And that made him more angry and he said that it wasn't "That Guy" all the time (but of course I knew, this time it WAS "That Guy") who gets mad. I said "you're probably right." and decided that there was basically nothing more I could say in this silly stupid argument, so I stopped saying anything except agreeing with him. So he let me go.

I think that even though I relish all the good days that he has had with the Lithium, I'm finding my frustration tolerance level very low now when "That Guy" does show up. I'm thinking that's a bad thing, because now, I'm so fed up, I just want to say "screw you" and that isn't going to help anything. I suppose I'll need to write this all down for his nurse practitioner, but DH has no idea when his next appointment is, and since I "nag" him so much, I've decided that it's his problem to take care of. Right now, I have just "had it" with him. Maybe he doesn't have a high enough dose of Lithium. Maybe he needs a supplemental bipolar med. Maybe he's just one of those people who the meds don't really help. I don't know. All I know is that I'm sick to death of this.


perphila said...

Are you able to talk to Dh's therapist? Maybe you can see of the gym thing is true? What about doing stuff outside for exercise. That's free. Maybe a used indoor bike or home gym? Since he would be home he could do that naked if he wanted...:)

Carol said...

LOL, Perphila, thanks for making me laugh!!!!