DH's "slip" back into "That Guy" mode ended last night. He's back to being DH again. I am still convinced that the Lithium is wonderful. He is doing a lot more, and (when not in "That Guy" mode) is a lot more approachable, too. I was able to gently point out that he had spent all that money this past week, and he didn't get angry, or defensive, he just did an "Oh, I didn't realize that at all...." then he tried to remember what he spent all the money on, but he couldn't remember.
I do think I am going to call the gym and find out if they really did tell him he couldn't wear his old shoes there, I have never heard of such a thing, but then again, it's been years since I've belonged to a gym, so I guess until I know otherwise, I'll give it the benefit of a doubt....
Oh--and one more thing.....DH went to Spenders, and usually when he gets home, he wakes me up to tell me all about it, but today he didn't, and when I asked him about the meeting, he just said "It was good." I didn't press him, of course, it's none of my business, really, but I thought it was unusual for him to not want to share that....then he journaled for about an hour--like I said, none of my business, but I have to confess I'm curious, for sure...
These ups and downs are hard, very hard. I do enjoy the ups very much, but not the weird "gotta spend and angry too" ups....it's been very nice, though, the good days that the Lithium has brought, maybe they can tweak things somehow, so that "That Guy" can go jump in a lake or something....now that they've finally started treating him for the real problem...
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Well, the bipolar tantrum is over....
Posted by Carol at 5:35 AM
Labels: "That Guy", bipolar, enabling, overspending, Spenders Anonymous
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2 comments:
I wish they had a spenders here for my husband. I looked. I suppose it wouldn't matter anyway since he wouldn't go. I think it is hard to accept sometimes that our loved ones really have times where they do not remember the things they have done ( or cash spent). It is way to easy to think they are just lying to protect themselves. I suppose not remembering is a way for the mind to protect itself too.
Hi Carol,
I've been so busy that commenting has been sparse, but I meant to say last time that it's helpful to think of mood stabilizers as similar to high-blood pressure medicine. They seem to create a baseline of stability, but there will still be little blips here and there where some sort of environmental factor takes over - not always easy to say what those triggers are. With people who have high blood pressure the meds work similarly - everything is under control most of the time, but occasionally if the person gets angry blood pressure will still skyrocket and it all goes to pot for a short while. I felt pretty confident that DH would be back quite soon - I'm glad he is.
As for spenders, I think when the bipolar person is first going through the revelation stage they want to share a lot - DH probably had many revelations because of his mood swings. Now that he's more stable it's probably a more sobering experience. I'm sure he's coming to grips with everything that has happened and trying to figure out how to keep things normalized for you. He's learning about his impulses and how to fight them, but he still finds them overpowering now and then and the shame is hard to take. That might be making him feel more internal.
I am so happy that things are improved overall. I think you can look forward to increased stability if he is dedicated to taking the lithium. You just both have to be aware of his "triggers" (staying home may be one - having a job and more structure will definitely help) and times when the meds need tweaking.
Keep fighting the good fight - you are winning!
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