Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Buying Lithium stock :-)

First of all, I have been giving thought to an Al-Anon type program for me. I'm recognizing that I definitely have a need for it, I'm just not sure how I am going to be capable of adding that into my schedule. The one that's closest to my house is 30 miles away, so I currently don't have a plan :-( I have such a tough time drawing the line between helping DH fix something he didn't realize he was doing and wanting to say "no, never again, sorry", I really need some help with this. I know I do. I think I am going to try to get a book on codependency from the library.

But here's some other stuff--we had to have the house appraised. DH's bankruptcy attorney asked how much the house is taxed for ($170,000), then he asked how much we owe ($109,000) and asked how much we think it's worth--is it really worth $170,000?
Of course not. It's falling apart. The basement leaks like Hurricane Katrina. The roof was old when we moved in 8 years ago and we have done nothing with it since. It looks ugly on the outside and although it looks better on the inside, the last year and a half with no maintenance whatsoever is taking its toll, for sure. So if it's even worth $130,000 you will be able to knock me over with a feather!

Anyhow, since we have 6 dogs and 10 cats, the house needed some cleaning before the appraiser came over. I had resigned myself to getting home from work and then staying up and cleaning to beat the band for the rest of the day. But DH really surprised me and cleaned the house from top to bottom, sparkly clean. He hasn't done that since he first started getting sick, I was so thrilled....I kept getting this "He's back to his old self" feeling, and I kept telling it (that feeling) to go play in traffic :-) Having him do something like that feels wonderful, and so close to normal. But I know better and need to see small consistent changes, not large amazing ones--it did cross my mind that the cleaning was the result of a manic state and not even a "healthy DH". I don't think it was, but it's a possibility that I am not willing to completely discount.
But it felt good anyhow....so the appraiser came, and the first thing he said when he saw our animals was that his daughter has 15 indoor cats, LOL....that was pretty funny....so that (the appraisal)'s over with, and, if DH remains somewhat healthy, he is planning on doing the credit counseling for the bankruptcy case tomorrow before I go to work. This is truly more progress than we've made on this bankruptcy thing in the previous 5 months!!! (Quite probably, though, the attorney is either a) out of clients/money or b) getting closer to the statutory deadline(s) and has been calling our house more often, so he's harder to ignore!)

As far as his brother's guitar goes, I opted to give DH $65 to keep from losing it. (You're probably shaking your head and rolling your eyes, because you knew I would, right?) (sigh) I told myself that all the cleaning that he did would have costed me a lot more than that if I would've paid someone, and the fact that I didn't have to do it, well, I guess that was worth some, too, so I didn't feel as resentful about giving him money as I have in the past.

I know the Lithium is working. So much is happening that hasn't happened for so long....but he is still having an occasional mood swing--the other day, DD was lying about not having homework (she's a really bad liar but still does it all the time) and when he called her on it, and she continued to lie, he got disproportionately angry at her, hugely angry, but this is a pretty common thing in our house (DD lying, that is--it's part of the FASD, sometimes they have a tough time seeing consequences and they have a tough time discerning the truth from a lie and how each affects other people) so anyhow, he got really angry, said some swear words to DD, she ran crying to her room, and then DH took a Lorazepam, which calmed him down almost immediately, and he went in and talked to DD and apologized. So it's still there....but it's easier, for sure. I ought to buy stock in that Lithium :-) "That Guy" never would apologize, because he's always right!


perphila said...

I like your term "that guy". Isn't it funny how a nickname like that can pop up before you even realize it? The kids call their dad "the clone" It looks like dad and sometimes sounds like dad but it acts like someone else....they call it creepy.