Thursday, June 12, 2008

Looking forward to life without Bipolar

Today I drove to work fantasizing about how wonderful it would feel if our family got back to normal. I started thinking about how it would feel to see the balances on those credit cards go down instead of up. I started thinking about how nice it would feel to know for a fact that DH is going to have a paycheck, and that it will benefit me. And then I thought: "It's starting right now!".

I drove to work with this happy hopeful mindset, that we are starting to move past the worst of this. The Lithium has been a lifesaver, for sure. And I'm trusting DH a little more. It still upsets him that I don't trust him much, but he readily acknowledges that he did it to himself. I can tell that he is already feeling more "manly" (pardon the wording) now that he is working again. I can see that he feels like more of an equal to me again, and I can also see that his "provider" instinct is showing up a little, too. He seems to be looking forward very much to helping take some of the financial burden off of me. And I'm ready, for sure :-)

And tomorrow we are going on an "outing" as a family. We are leaving Jim at home, and DH, DD and I are going to go to my favorite thrift shop and DD is going to get some clothes for summer camp, and DH and I will browse and spend a dollar or two, too. Then the plan is, that we are going to go out for pizza, because a while back, I won a gift certificate for a pizza place, and it happens to be in the same town as the thrift shop, so it will be a genuine "outing" for the price of gas and about $20 total :-) But I think we'll all feel like it costed more, and it's kind of an optimistic "spending of money", because even that $20 is money that if DH was not yet working, I wouldn't be able to justify spending. It's a really good feeling.

Now, if "That Guy" doesn't drop in, it's got the makings for a perfect day.


perphila said...

I hope you had a great day...:)

perphila said...

I forgot to say I like your picture..how fitting.