Friday, June 6, 2008

What can I do when he doesn't see it???

Remember not too long ago when he got that $50 check? Well, tonight I was chatting away happily to him on the phone, when he suddenly said..."Guess what tomorrow is?" I had to do a quick mental spin and remember when all the anniversaries and birthdays were, then I tried to remember if there was some important appointment or something, and, feeling pretty embarrassed, I sheepishly told him "I don't know."

And then I found out. Lucky me! "It's the day when my pawnshop stuff needs to be paid for again." I was speechless. I still kind of am (except to you, apparently).

I told him I didn't have any money. Even his truck payment is late right now, because I don't get paid until Monday. My bank account is empty. I have maybe $5 to my name and I feel SO PUT ON THE SPOT when he does something like this. I didn't tell him that, because at the time I wasn't able to articulate very well. I basically get put in a spot of "make my own financial situation even worse, to save DH from his stupid bipolar mistakes, that I told him not to do, so that he can save face with his brother who doesn't know that his deer rifle has been pawned."

It's "enabling" in its most basic form. If I pay for it. The only way I could do it right now is to take a cash advance from the credit card and that will cost me $15 up front for a fee, PLUS the added interest. I HATE the thought of doing that. My credit card balances have never in my life been this high, and I'm scared because we are so much living on the edge, it's not even funny. But when I expressed my lack of enthusiasm for running to the pawn shop first thing in the morning, "That Guy" got that "mood swing" voice, all cold, that voice that says to me "Well. Now I know you REALLY don't love me at all." So I told him I'd talk with him about it tomorrow. I'm hoping by that time I'll have a plan of "action".

He truly doesn't see that he had $50 in his hand. So why on earth is he asking me for money????????? I know he's not "all better" but sometimes he just makes no sense at all and even worse than that, he refuses to understand when I make sense.

I didn't point out the $50 thing to him. But I sure thought it. And I might bring it up in the morning, depending on how things go.


perphila said...

Just say no...lol...if only we all were like Nancy. DH has probably not been in the habit of thinking of bill first and extra stuff second. Not to mention the habit of buying stuff to make you feel good in the short term instead of paying bills to feel good in the long term is still in play. Why would he think or worry about the bills anyway when you have been doing it for the both of you. It sucks. It still looks like though things are slowly getting better. As long as things keep moving forward these set backs won't be as stressful.