I don't love him (or so he thinks)

I just got off the phone with DH. The first thing he asked me was "what time are we going to the pawnshop?" I asked him how much money I was supposed to come up with. "Uh...let's see....$100 for the guitar and $150 for the gun...."

Me: $250????? You're serious??? I'm supposed to come up with $250 to pay for stuff that isn't mine, stuff that I told you several times not to pawn, stuff that you pawned, when it didn't even belong to you, and now I've got to cough up $250 to save you from having your brother find out?

DH: Uh, yeah.

After giving it some thought and realizing that I was still in that same crappy situation as I was a couple of days ago, here is what I said:

Me: Ok, I will get these things out of hock. But this is the last time. It will never happen again. After this, your decisions are yours as far as pawnshops go, and this is your warning. No more.

DH: (silence)

DH: I don't suppose while you're at it, you could give me $50 for the tools I pawned last week?

Me: Nope. I told you not to do that either.

DH: I see.

DH: (in that sulky "you don't love me any more because I'm a piece of #&*@" voice) Well, I'll talk to you later. Bye.

CAN YOU BELIEVE THE NERVE???????? I CAN'T BELIEVE I AM GOING TO DO THIS FOR HIM WHEN HE'S SO INCREDIBLY GRATEFUL (NOT). But it does feel liberating to have said "no more" to him. I was very clear about it. And I was so close to saying no tonite, I'm pretty sure I can do it. I feel like most of the time he's clear enough on Lithium to understand the decisions he makes and the consequences. We'll see.

Right now I hate being married.

Oh--and did I tell you (no, I'm sure I didn't) that his mom is retiring next week, and there is a party on Saturday. I'm hoping that he'll go there for a week or so...coincidentally, it's the week that DD goes to bible camp, too....what bliss that would be if Jim went with DH and then DD was at camp....I'm sure it's just a fantasy, though....