Wednesday, March 5, 2008

It's Pouring!

When it rains, it pours, isn't that how it goes? Well, on top of DH's depression lately, tonite he called me at work to tell me that he totalled his car. He hit a deer about a mile away from home. And Jim, who had just returned a few hours prior, was with him, and DH was SO ANGRY WITH JIM!!! It seems Jim hollered to DH to watch for the deer on the side of the road, and DH took his eyes off the road and the deer walked out in front of them. I tried to tell him that Jim was only trying to help, and all that, but I don't know how much of his depressed anger ended up getting directed at Jim anyhow.....I'm ready for Jim to leave for another few years (that's how long it was since we saw him last, before his extended stay at our house...)...I just want to be able to talk with DH in the kitchen without having to beckon him into the bedroom....and I want to be able to sleep on the couch with a roaring fire in the fireplace....well, it's getting a little late for that now...but this year is the first winter ever where I was unable to do that even one time, because Jim was always in the living room.

Anyhow, so DH's car is totalled. It still drives, but that's about all he can say. He says the hood is all crumpled up, the doors won't open, and the windshield broke, etc....I told him to bring it to the mechanic tomorrow anyhow, just to see if maybe they can fix the damage cheaply....if not, maybe they'll have wind of a cheap car...

DH kept saying "What am I going to drive?" "What am I going to drive?" I reminded him that I work nights, so for his daytime appointments, he could take my car, which is something he should be doing anyhow, and if I'm gone that day, he can take the truck into town. I know that ultimately, though, I am going to have to come up with some kind of car for him, as the truck only gets like 9 or 10 mpg and that won't do....unfortunately, we are stuck with the truck, because that's one of the loans DH had taken out that had my name on them....

So the truck, if he sold it right now, might fetch $2000, but we owe over $5,000 on it. See, when DH was spending, he went to the credit union and was able to do a "cash-out" refinance type thing on the truck (using my credit and my income, as I had signed that open-ended loan document back when DH was still healthy), so that he could pay off his overdraft line of credit, which, he never paid off (or tried to pay off but loaded it back up again) anyhow....the truck HAD been all paid for, all paid off, and then this huge loan. And my name's on the loan, which is part of the reason I had to take that extra shift. So we're stuck with the truck. And I can't cancel the insurance on it, because we still owe money on it. But we can't afford to drive it. Argh.

I can already see the stress coming. I'm going to want to spend $500 on a beater (where I'll get $500 is a whole nother post) that will get him from point a to point b and that won't be good enough for him. It hasn't been in the past....and I have no reason to think he's become more frugal...I haven't said anything about that yet, though, as I will wait to start that argument until I absolutely have to.

I just kept reminding him that nobody got hurt (except the deer) and it could've been a lot lot worse. And when he starts feeling down about it, think of all the ways it could have been worse and count his blessings. I don't think that helped. But maybe somehow it did.


ProblemWithCaring said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.