Thursday, May 15, 2008

Whoa. Just Whoa.

DH just called me. He's at the casino AGAIN. I started to get mad at him, because earlier he was telling me that he didn't have any money for cigarettes (I didn't volunteer) but anyhow, here's what DH told me:

He and Jim had a rather large disagreement. A yelling kind of disagreement. I had called the house and nobody answered, and then I called DH's cell phone, I kind of already suspected he was at the casino, because he has been wanting to go there a LOT. And I've told him that it's a bad idea, etc., but as usual, in his mind, it's not a bad idea at all, because the slot machines he plays are pretty cheap (on an average day $10 can last a couple of hours) but he doesn't have much to say when I point out that staying home is a lot cheaper. Jim keeps giving DH money for the casino, so I guess as long as he doesn't expect me to pay for it, well, whatever!

Anyhow, so I suspected he was at the casino, and I started to get kind of mad, because I had just talked to him earlier today about the fact that DD does more work in our house lately than DH and Jim put together, so he said he understood, but when I figured he was at the casino again, I started to see red. I figured that he had just said he understood so that I'd shut up. And that made me feel disrespected, but I didn't have time to voice that, because he started to "explain". Anyhow, he told me he had had an argument with Jim. I didn't believe him. He sounded so calm and matter-of-fact, I told him he was lying and what was really going on, and he told me he really did have an argument with Jim. (the calmness in his voice must be from the Lithium, maybe?)

Back a couple of years ago, Jim started "seeing" this girl who, as he told us is a "former lesbian". (I suspect that the "former" part is an exaggeration) They have never even kissed, and he calls her his girlfriend. He sends her girlfriend-type presents and talks about when he and she get married, etc., but it's all so stupid. Really. And I'm not saying that for any reason other than it is stupid. After he had been at our house a short time, he had discovered that she had cleaned out his bank accounts and run up a $5000 phone bill on his account. When he confronted her, she somehow convinced him that it was some kind of mistake. (right.) Then a month or so ago, Jim had told us that this girl wants to get married, because she is in the army and can get more money for being married. Jim was viewing it as "this is our romantic future". Even DH, as unstable as he was at the time, saw right through all this stuff. But neither of us said anything, we figured "Jim can't be that dumb, can he?"

Then apparently, tonite, Jim was telling DH that this girl (his "girlfriend") was in a 7 year relationship with a guy but never had any kind of (ahem) physical relationship with him at all. When that guy finally(!) told her that he was tired of waiting, offered to marry her or whatever, she left him. Now here is Jim, ready to marry this same person who he has never even kissed, but has emptied out his bank accounts. Then Jim revealed some other things about her, like she cuts herself. (I know a lot of people do, but in light of the other stuff, it just seems more wrong.) She never calls him, and in all the time he has been at our house she has never written to him or sent him a present at all. Are you seeing red flags here?

Anyhow, apparently DH tried to explain this to Jim (seeing as we know that people never listen when it comes to romance, it was probably not the smartest idea) and when Jim started yelling about it, DH said, "Jim, you know, we really like you, and you've been a big help, but it's time to move on..." and Jim got mad and wouldn't talk to DH after that. DH was, apparently, more upset about this at that time, so he went "for a drive and wound up at the casino". Knowing how upset he gets when he has an argument with anyone, I wasn't so mad about the casino any more, and he was really handling it well, considering.

I was really happy that he told Jim it was time to move on. I hope it doesn't ruin their friendship, but I'm starting to think that if DH or I don't tell him to leave, he is never going to, ever. So I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles. Can't say I'm too upset right now.....I don't want anything bad to happen to Jim, but like I told DH, our house and Iraq aren't the only options he has. He can go and rent a little apartment and still come to our house all the time. He can get a job and just stick around. Or he can go back to Georgia, which is where he met his "girlfriend", who's in Iraq right now. Lots of options. It's all so weird.

But when I think about Jim being gone, I do get very happy. Now that things are starting to get somewhat better with DH, it would benefit all of us if DH and I were able to be a "couple" again....and that really won't happen if Jim is hanging around, especially the way he invites himself along....it makes me sad to think about the possibility of him leaving on "not so great" terms, but I am at my wits' end as to how to do it in any nicer of a way.....probably, of course, bringing it up in the middle of an argument wasn't the best way, but it did have to be said....