Thursday, May 8, 2008

Mother in Law

Hi again, sorry it's been so long since I've posted--on Monday night, DH's mom came to visit. She bought DH a birthday dinner, and we cooked out on the grill. His birthday is this weekend. Then, since she had a free room at a local casino, we all went to the casino. I had $11. DH had $50 in money he got for his birthday. So we started playing these slot machines and I won $90, so that was very nice. Then we went to find DH's mom and she was already going to bed. That's very unusual for her, so we went up to her room to make sure she was ok. She said she was having more chest pains than usual (she had quintuple bypass surgery a year ago and has had some chest pain since then) and had taken some nitroglycerin for that. She told DH and I that she was almost out of pills and was a little worried. But she was pretty sure she had enough to get through the night. She was going to bed. At that point, I had my $90 and was ready to leave, but DH wanted to stay a little while longer. About 15 minutes later, his mom called him on the cell phone and she said she was short of breath. He basically told her that she was going to the hospital. She kept saying she was ok, but she did go. She'd had a heart attack. Today she learned that she had 3 100% blockages and she got 3 stents put in. She is going to be ok. But it's been rather hectic. I didn't go to the city hospital when she was transferred there. My boss just hates when people call in and ask for time off, so I will always try my best to avoid doing that if possible...and since I wasn't sure how long she was going to be there or how serious the situation really was, it seemed wise to just go to work and just come when I was called--of course, things worked out so that I didn't have to go there at all--I was there at the small local hospital with her, but when she went to the city, I didn't go there at all. I feel kind of bad about that, but nobody could tell me when she was having what tests/procedures and if I did need to take off, I wanted to make sure I had that ability....anyhow of course DH did go...I figured he'd be fine without me because his brothers would be there and his one brother had already rented a hotel room for them....I gave DH $40 and Jim gave DH $100 because he was going to be 200 miles away from us. DH was kind of mad that I wouldn't let him take my credit card. Oh well.

Then, apparently DH and his one brother were not getting along. DH had planned on sleeping in his brother's hotel room. But when he and his brother weren't getting along, he decided not to. So instead of coming home for the night (after all, 200 miles of gas is still cheaper than a hotel room), or better yet, sleeping in the hospital, which is what I've done when my mom has been ill, he decided that he was going to go to the casino again, and get a hotel room there. I knew he was stressed out, so I let it slide....at least he didn't have my credit card, right? :-)

And then he went back to the hospital, and then tonite he called to tell me he was on his way home because his mom was doing good. And about two hours later he called me from the casino again!!!!! I know everything was stressful, I really do. I am just so dismayed by this, though. And I don't know how to handle it. I gave him the money. Jim gave him the money. So if he chooses to spend it at the casino, do I have a right to say anything? (You can bet I will the next time he says he doesn't have money for cigarettes!)

And on another note, DH was gone for two nights. And I have to say, I was not bothered by that at all. In fact, I was rather relieved. After all, he was not my problem. And I must confess that it felt good to have it be that way. Even despite the good days that Lithium has brought us. I had thought that I would kind of miss him, but honestly, I didn't miss him at all. I'm kind of surprised at that. I think it will take a lot of rebuilding if we are to get back to where we used to be....sorry. Tonight I don't feel as hopeful as I have been. Everything just gets so confused and I don't know what to do.