Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Wish I had the answers....

Well, today I got up to go to work and realized the house is/was a pigsty. I didn't have time to do much, I just looked at the huge piles of laundry, the dishes piled up in the sink, the garbage about to spill over onto the floor, and sighed.

Being down about the whole situation sure doesn't make me more ambitious, of course.

But then, I called the house to remind DH to call in a refill on one of his meds, and there was no answer. So I called his cell phone and asked him where he was. "Oh, WE're on our way to the library."

Me: Oh, you and DD?

DH: Yes, I'm going to go find a job.

Me: (to myself) Yup.

Me: (out loud) Oh, GREAT!!!

Me: So where's Brenda? (That's DD's PCA, the one who's supposed to be there after school to help make sure that DD does her homework, etc.)

DH: Oh. I told her not to come today.

There are a thousand things I can think of regarding this. Clearly, DD is not doing her homework. Clearly, DH simply did not feel like loading the dishwasher, etc., to make the house relatively presentable. Clearly, he's not going to find a job. He's going to go there, look on line, decide "there's nothing out there" and go home. Clearly, cancelling the PCA should have been a joint decision. It always has been before. Why suddenly he feels like it is ok to just cancel her without hearing my thoughts on the matter, I don't know, I suppose it goes along with why he felt like whatever he spent that $160 on was so much more important than any bill I could pay with it, like car insurance.....

Today I'm fantasizing that DH finds me too difficult to live with and goes to stay with his mom for a few weeks. I know that won't happen, but I feel so good when I think about it....


Miz Kizzle said...

Your husband was out of line in canceling the PCA. Can you talk to Brenda and tell her she needs to show up unless you personally call and cancel? You don't have to give her any reason if you don't want to.
Can you husband work AT the library? My library hires people (mostly seniors, stay at home moms with older children and high school kids) to shelve books and check books in and out. I don't think they pay much more than minimum wage but it's better than nothing.
Looking for work online is not productive. reaching out to friends and former co-workers and going in person to apply is the best way to find a job.
As for your husband going to stay with his mother for awhile, I think that's a great idea. He has promised to do work for her that he hasn't completed, right? What better way to do that than for him to stay there for a week or two. or three. Or more.
Frankly, if I were in your position I would pack hubby's suitcase with enough clothes for a few weeks and send him off to his mom. I'd do it calmly, without anger, but I would explain that I need a break and that maybe some time apart would give him a better perspective on how to move forward with his life.
Good luck to you. I sympathize with you for having to put up with a mentally husband. My brother-in-law has ruined quite a few family occasions with his paranoia and hostility and jealousy of my husband's successful career and our happy life together. mental illness is a total bummer, especially if the person in question refuses to even see a doctor to be evaluated.

Miz Kizzle said...

Sorry, I meant to say a mentally ill husband. I shouldn't be typing without my contact lenses.

Karen said...

Can only imagine the frustration and bottled up anger you must feel.
I have a 21 year old daughter who is ill and it has been and is a bumpy ride.
Just know that your blog gives me hope, and a bit of sanity knowing that I am not alone in all this.