Thursday, March 12, 2009

What is it with the memory stuff????

I was driving with DH in the snow. He said, "By the way, why are you driving and not me?" I said, "Because the last time you drove me anywhere, (click here for the story) you almost killed us and I was scared." He said, "I did not!!!" "How do you figure?"

I said, "Last time you drove me to the bank, you were so tired, I can't even count the times when I had to yell at you to get back on the road." "You were veering into the median, and off towards the ditch, and everywhere in between." DH said, "I was not!!! When did that happen?" I told him again: "About two weeks ago." "We were driving to the bank." "DD was in the back seat." I still thought he was pretending not to remember because he was embarrassed or something.

He said, "We have never gone to the bank with DD." At that point, I realized it was possible that he truly had no idea what I was talking about. I said, "yes, we did, and we all went to McDonalds." He said, "Are you making this up?"

He truly has no memory of that day at all. Scary. Almost as scary as the ride was that day.


Elizabeth B. Alexander said...

I was just discussing this issue with my husband the other night. There are months I have very little recollection. Months. If someone points out an event everyone remembers, I may have a vague notion. I think it's a coping mechanism.

Miz Kizzle said...

That's very odd on two levels: that he didn't remember and that he thought you were making it up.
Why would you make up a story like that? it reminds me of my BIL, who is very paranoid and who attaches enormous significance to casual comments and who always imagines that we're plotting against him.
Didn't you mention in your original post about the trip to the bank that your husband had taken a double dose of medication, supposedly on the advice of his doctor? I wonder if his memory loss could be the effect of too much medication.
Than, too, maybe he was ashamed of his poor driving and he was pretending not to recall it.

perphila said...

The extra meds he took would be a huge factor I think. Also, wasn't he still trying to adjust to the abilify? Even so, memory is a weird thing. Sean would forget whole conversations. Just yesterday he asked Cade if he got his haircut then realized it was wet from swim lessons. He asked Cade if it was his first week and Cade looked at him like he was crazy. He was his second week and Sean should have known that because I had emailed him weeks ago about it and Cade invited him to come so he had more than one reminder. Connor said he gets gaps in his memory which I didn't know about either until his own pdoc evaluation. I agree that a lot of it I think has to do with coping. The memory is there but getting to it is tough. There were times Sean couldn't remember chunks of his childhood then other times he could depending on how he was feeling. It is hard to deal with sometimes when you are on the other end of it.