Sunday, March 1, 2009

Manic Saturday

It started out as a blissfully pleasant day. I had the day off from work, and my mom was purportedly safe in her assisted living apartment. I got 7 hours of sleep!!! That was so wonderful, that I slept longer than I had planned on. I told DH that I was going to run to the branch of my bank that is open on Saturdays, so that I could deposit a check that I had gotten for my flexible spending account, which would ensure that nothing would bounce. He asked me if he could come with, and I said sure.

Then DD wanted to come too. Until she realized that if we went to the bank, DH wouldn't be taking her to the pet store to see the animals, like he had promised earlier this week. He asked her which one she would rather do, go to the bank or go to the pet store. She, in hopes of going out to eat, said she'd rather go to the bank. So we started getting ready to go, and then DD started in on how DH had broken his promise because we were going to the bank and she wasn't going to the pet store. DH tried to point out to her that she had made the choice, not him, but when she kept whining, he got really angry and got in his truck, which we weren't even going to take, and started to leave. Then he stopped and ordered DD to get in, because they were going to the "damn pet store". And of course she didn't want to go.....ok....so we all got into the car to go to the bank.

DH took out his Lorazepams, and told me "the doctor thinks I should be taking two at a time, based on my body size." I have no idea if that was true or not, but he took two. And he drove to the bank. I have never been so scared. I can't even count the times I had to holler. He drifted off the road. He almost ran a red light. Then, at an intersection where all the cars were already stopped, he didn't notice and wasn't even slowing down. I was very glad to get to the bank, and afterwards, because I just wanted all of us to be able to enjoy each other's company, I took us to McDonalds. Ok. I was happy again.

As soon as we left McDonalds, DH informed me that he needed cigarettes. If I would have known that, I wouldn't have gone to McDonalds. I KNOW that DH's mom just wired him $40 on Wednesday, because that was the day he was having a fit because I wasn't home and he didn't have any cigarettes or money. WHERE DID THAT $40 GO????? Not in his gas tank, because that part comes later....Ok, not the first time that happened....he asked for money for pop. I said "drink water or Kool Aid." He said ok, but didn't say much else. So then we drove home, and I visited with my mom for a while. When I got home, I learned that DH had decided that it was ok for DD's friend to stay overnight. We generally have a rule that both parents consult regarding situations like that, but I guess it didn't apply today. So I got home and not only was the friend there, but DH had taken them both to the pet store, where friend had bought a pet rat. And it was in a cardboard box in DD's room. I don't have anything against pet rats in general, and, in fact, a long time ago I had a pet rat named Ratley. But this was so against our household rules. DH had no idea whether friend's parents will allow the rat. DH knows that I am against having small animals of any kind in our house, due to the fourteen cats that currently live there. So why the stupid thing was in our house is beyond me. But then, after DH told me about it, DD came out carrying the rat. Into the living room, where there were at least eight cats waiting to eat it. I told her to put the rat away and she wanted to argue. "Why" "He's a PET rat, not a bad rat", and she has been told dozens of times why we won't be getting any gerbils, hamsters, rats or mice in our house. It seems very obvious to me. I was not pleased, either by her arguing or by DH's complete lack of judgment. So what happens then, you ask? DH says, "Can you give me some gas money so that I can take them to Subway?" I told him I didn't have any. "I uh, already told them that we could go. Can I just take your car?" I said, "Well, I have to leave for work in 20 minutes, so if you can get back by then, yes..." Of course Subway takes longer than that. I am very angry by this time, because I am on the spot. Either I come up with a way for him to have gas money (so clearly he didn't put the $40 into his gas tank...) or DD is probably going to have another problem with "You promised!". I know dealing with the consequences of making promises he has no ability to keep would not be a bad thing, but I don't want "That Guy" to show up in front of DD's friend, either. So I gave him my check card and told him I needed a receipt. So anyhow, DH and DD's friend started to clean the house--a miracle in itself (of course DD wasn't helping) (and the fact that it was so strange kind of told me that things weren't right) and then they went to Subway and I went to work. I was crabby.

DH called me at work and started talking about taking apart DD's bunk bed, and putting a bed that his brother had given us, in her room instead. I knew by this time that his judgment was not right, so I said, "I don't think it's a good idea. First off, you've got that rat in there, and if the bedroom door is open, it's curtains for the rat. Then the fact of having DD showing off in front of her friend, and the friend not knowing how our household operates, I think you need to wait to do that until things are calmer at our house. DH said, "yeah, you're right."

So two hours later, DH called me again to tell me that the kids are sleeping in the living room because he started to take the bunk bed apart and it was harder than he thought!! So now, not only do I have a kid there that I wasn't expecting, they can't sleep in DD's bedroom. Which means that just like when Jim was there, I have no living room. I just get so frustrated.

I don't know what brought on this manic thing. All I can think of is that maybe it was the double dose of lorazepam, I don't know!!! Everything seemed to be going really well. Maybe I should've knocked on wood or something. If I had any money, I'd be considering a motel room just so I could get away from it all. But when I get home, I won't even be able to sleep on my couch.


Elizabeth B. Alexander said...

He is still adjusting to the Abilify, there're going to be bad days until that's leveled out. Hope it's a calmer week.

Anonymous said...

Judging by what you described, it doesn't sound like your husband should be driving. What if he caused an accident and someone was injured or killed? I don't think the mother of the girl who was sleeping over at your house would have wanted her daughter in the car if your husband wasn't alert.
I'm not blaming you. I have an enormous amount of respect for your ability to cope with a very difficult situation.