Reminiscing

Tonite I was thinking about DH's guitar(s)--he has two. One that he pawns and one that he plays :-)

He decided to learn to play the guitar shortly before he started having problems. I had an old guitar and he started taking lessons and getting really "into" it. Then, as with everything else, he stopped paying the bill for his lessons. In order to (as usual) save face in our community, I paid the bill without DH knowing and he did not go back.

He did keep on playing, but his illness really caused him to not be able to put as much into it as he normally would have. His guitar, though, was one of the things he loved and was proud of.

One night, and I believe this happened before I started blogging, he called me at work and was very "freaked out". He kept saying "I don't know what just happened."
After we talked for a while, he told me that he had taken his guitar and smashed it to smithereens. And I mean smithereens. Smaller than finger-sized pieces. And he had no idea why he had done that, he just felt like he "had to". That was one of the few times that I have ever wondered if I was safe with him. He had never done anything like that before.

Anyhow, tonite I was thinking about his guitar(s) that he has now, and the smashed guitar just popped into my mind. And my thought was, "I cannot imagine DH doing that." Right now, he is in such a better place. When I compare things like that to how things are now, it's like night and day. And I'm reminded to be grateful.