That's it in a nutshell. (No, not me...I've still got two of them, LOL)
Tonite, DH called me and told me that his mom was at the casino near our house, along with DH's brother. DH said that when he was talking to his brother on the phone, he could hear his mom in the background, telling his brother not to tell DH where they were (because DH always asks her for money). DH asked his brother where they were, and brother said, after a brief hesitation, "at the casino." DH said, "It kind of hurt me to know where I stand with her."
I wanted to say, "Well, she knows, just like I do, that you can spend more money on more stupid stuff in an hour than either of us can spend in a week." But of course I didn't. I just bit my tongue.
Then he said, "And my mom was getting on my case about disability again. She said I can't work, so I should be going on disability so that you don't have to work so hard, and so that I don't have to keep begging for money." (His mom is nothing if not blunt, sometimes)
Then he said, "And this cold is really bugging me."
I said, "I wish I knew how to help you."
DH said, "What I really need is a job."
That was it. I am very tired of listening to what a sad victim he is. And tired of him getting mad at me for not buying stupid stuff for him with money that doesn't even stretch far enough to pay the phone bill. Although, I must say, I refrained from saying "well, for most people, jobs don't just fall into their laps, especially in this economy." I was pretty proud that my mouth didn't say that.
But I did say, "Well, I think there are a lot of things you can do to make that happen, if that's what would make you feel better."
DH: Like what? There aren't any jobs out there. I looked!
(He looked for about an hour on one website.)
Me: Did you ever call that "jobs for the disabled" organization?
Me: How about the "jobs for people with mental illness" guy that you were working with...I know he isn't working there any more, but have you called their office to see if they can help?
Me: You've been thinking about becoming a CNA, but you aren't sure if you could handle it emotionally. Maybe you could volunteer at the nursing home and see how that goes, that way, you'd get some training, you'd have "connections", and it would be a lot like a job without the pay.
DH: Yeah....I guess....
Me: In this economy, you are going to have to be very creative when it comes to finding a job. But I know you are creative, especially when you are determined. I think you can do it, and if a job is what you need, once you really start looking, you'll be surprised at how good it feels.
DH: You know, I think I'm going to let you go. I think my mom, and then this job stuff is causing me to have a mood swing. I'll talk to you later.