Happy Birthday to DH

Tomorrow is DH's birthday, he'll be 37 (yup, I'm older than him...)

Anyhow, I was browsing in the card shop--I really don't have money to buy him a present, but I thought maybe I'd get him a card...

I found a card. Here is what it says (honest!):

"Another birthday? Time to take the OLD GUY oath:
Raise your right hand and repeat the following:

I, (your name here), being of questionable mind and aging body, do solemnly declare myself an "OLD GUY" and am hereby officially permitted to:

Scratch my butt in public, drive forever with my left blinker on, pass gas on a crowded elevator, mumble incoherently to myself, snore like a chainsaw, wear hats, call all teenagers "stupid, little punks", constantly kvetch about my lower back, and fall asleep with absolutely no warning.

Signed (your name)"

Now you might be thinking, "ok, it's really a pretty stupid card". But in reality, with the exception of one or two of them, DH does them on a regular basis :-)
It really made me laugh. The DH I married would see the humor in it. "That Guy" would be hugely offended. Since I'm not sure which guy will be there for the birthday, I'm not sure if I'll give it to him or not....

But I had to share!