Priorities

You know, I've only added one measly shift to my work week. I work 66 hours a week, with about 10 extra hours of commuting time. I know there's a lot of people who work that much or more. But I am really having a tough time with it right now.

It feels great to have enough money to pay the bills. I cannot describe how great that feels. But here's something: This morning I got home from work at 9am and went right to bed. my alarm went off at 5pm, then 5:30pm, then 6pm, I was so tired, I really hated to get up. But I did because I knew the ducks and chickens had to get fed before dark (right now it gets dark at about 6:20pm. Then I went to my mom's and found out I didn't buy her the right kind of paper towels the other day, so I have to go get different ones tomorrow....anyhow, I gave her a hug and drove home (4 miles).

When I got home, I was having a tough time keeping my eyes open and I knew that did not bode well for my "staying-up-all-night" job. So I decided to take a nap for an hour. As soon as I laid down, though, I realized I wasn't going to have any time to take a shower. I tried very hard to convince myself that I didn't need a shower, but instead, I just laid there in bed feeling unhygienic and unclean for not taking that shower. So with 20 minutes to go before I had to go to work, I finally decided that I really needed that shower, took it, and showed up for work 5 minutes late. And for all that laying in bed fretting about the shower, I didn't sleep.

I know that my financial peace of mind has been greatly enhanced by this extra shift. But I'm having a hard time getting even the minimal things done that I feel are important. And I told myself on Saturday, "I only have to work like this for another year, because that's when my car will finally be paid off." Somehow I'm just not excited about that at all. So much for my "light at the end of the tunnel."