Thursday, January 24, 2008

Well, "That Guy" took a break.

DH came back and once again was my regular DH. He told me that he doesn't know why he did that, that he knows we had "a deal" and that it was reasonable for me to expect him to follow through. He also said that he had no intention of "ripping me off", but I knew that all along. He NEVER has any intention of hurting me, it's just that things happen and he "doesn't get around to it"....like my Christmas present, which I didn't get yet.

It has occurred to me while I've been contemplating all of this, that maybe I've been looking at things backwards. I tend to think of my DH as being there all the time unless "That Guy" shows up, but maybe what I need to do is look at "That Guy" as being there all the time unless "DH" shows up. That would help me to keep my expectations low, I think. I'm going to try it, but so far I haven't been able to do it. I look at him and see DH. It's going to be quite a change to look at him and think it's "That Guy" right off the bat, without waiting for his behavior to prove it to me....oh--one more thing???? DH did sell the gun, he did get $500 for it, so he gave me $400, which covered the original $300 that I expected to be taking off my credit card, and then the extra money he took, too. So financially, this time, after my tantrum (and his), the finances are pretty much at the status quo--except that he has a little money to spend on pop and cigs for now.....


Iris said...

I'm so glad that you got a break this time - I know how badly you need it. I think your plan is a good one. Just remember that you are doing really well in a very hard situation. Sending good thoughts your way.

P.S. I know that my e-mails take a lot of energy to read. Don't ever feel any pressure to respond to them (or even read them!), and please don't ever feel that I am judging you - I wouldn't dream of it. You are on a very hard, unique path, and you have my respect and support.

Pann said...

It's so hard - this rollercoaster that you are on, but I really admire the way that you are handling things. I hope you are able to get some extra support if you need it.