Friday, July 16, 2010

You are all going to say "I told you so".....

Once again I failed to account for DH's perpetual font of creativity related to spending money.  I am clearly a slow learner and apparently not mean enough, either.

DH has a friend who is "laid off" (but didn't actually work at the job long enough to get unemployment.  So one day a couple of weeks ago, DH asked me if "someday, maybe we could get friend to come out and help with the lawn (which actually makes most foreclosed houses look really good), seeing as how he needs money and all...."  And I said "yes, someday.  But right now is not a good time."  And then I very firmly stated that any work that is done by anyone on our property will be done on a "so much money per job completed" basis, NOT hourly, because we've had too many problems with that before.  Cut to Wednesday night:

DH:  Doesn't the lawn look good?

(you can guess what comes next)

Me:  What price did you agree on......and why wasn't I involved?

DH:  Well, I need to talk to you about that.  See....I told him that I'd give him $30 to cut the grass and trim the weeds.  Because I had that money.  Then he kept on working, PLUS he went out and bought a new belt for the lawn mower that I didn't know about.  Now he says we owe him $135.

Me:  WHAT!!!?????

I got very angry.  But because I knew that DH is currently not at his most stable, and that he was making an attempt to get something done, I lied and told DH that I was really angry at the friend.  (I was angry at the friend, but I do feel that DH could/should have been able to prevent this, so I was more angry with him).  After I ranted for about an hour, DH told me that it was really his fault and not to be so angry with his friend (so he did recognize that it WAS his fault).  I told him that I was going to pay the guy because the yard does look nice.  I am not going to pay for the belt, if it can't be returned then too bad.  Maybe someone'll learn from that. 

And last but not least, I made clear (I hope) to DH that from now on, NOBODY will be doing any work at our house for pay, unless there is a price set up ahead of time, WITH ME, and any related purchases are to be ok'd before they are made.  If work is done at our house without my knowledge or acquiescence, then DH will have to find a way to pay for it.  I will not do this again.  I got the impression that DH thought I was going too far.  I don't.  Despite the fact that I'm apparently a really slow learner, I'm getting really tired of this.

I also got the impression that DH felt like I was being rather controlling.  But hey....I control the money and there is a reason for that, right?  If I am trying to live within our means and stuff like this keeps popping up, how on earth is "living within our means" going to be possible?

I have a headache.


perphila said...

You are not going overboard or are you being controlling. The situation was discussed. DH asked, you explained why it wasn't a good time and did not say no outright. Being very clear with no waffle room is the best solution. You were very good not to throw in his face why the financial situation is so bad to begin with. You didn't rehash all the other times he mismanaged money and recognized his attempt to try and to something productive even if he went about it the wrong way. All good things. Mowing the lawn himself would have been an even better solution. Don't beat yourself up over this and hope he understands the new rule you have set. Take some medicine and get some sleep for that headache...:)

Miz Kizzle said...

You should have made your DH pay for it. I'll bet he got a cut of that $135. Money is like a drug to him.
Why can't your DH cut the lawn?

Anonymous said...

I wonder how long that guy worked on the lawn and where he came up with that $135. I agree, pick your arguments. Hopefully that guy doesn't feel like he can be doing that again.