Tuesday, July 6, 2010

DD and my mom

DD, from what I've heard, has been having a tough time at the residential treatment center.  I guess she's been picking fights with other kids over stupid stuff, and the other night, when staff tried to intervene, she picked up a fork and attacked the staff with it--they had to physically restrain her :-(  Her "discharge" is supposed to be on Thursday (has it really been 30 days already???) and she is very much looking forward to it.  However, the therapist at the RTC has said that she is so out of control that she really needs more treatment (they're thinking like 6-9 months).  DD has no idea, and it's going to be a "mother" of all tantrums when she finds out.  I am not planning on being the one to tell her.  I'd rather not even be within 10 miles of her when she finds out.  She called last night and sounded better than she has in a long time.  But I thought that the night before the fork incident, too.

My mom is adjusting surprisingly well to the nursing home.  We have decided to keep telling her she's in "rehab", because I'm afraid if she thinks she's never getting out of there, she might lose her will to live.  Sometimes I'm not sure she even realizes that she's in a different place--she sleeps a lot and some of the activities are the same in the nursing home as they were in the assisted living......She still tells me I need to get her out of there.  I just agree with her and tell her I'll get her out as soon as I can :-(  She tells me she is "doing much better now".  And she is.  But I think that's because she's getting so much more help there.   It's shocking, really, she's now incontinent, and sometimes doesn't recognize me, even when I tell her my name :-(  I keep wondering if I was in so much denial that I just didn't see how bad she was, or if it was a sudden "step" down for her....?  I've been trying to do more research on Alzheimer's so that I know what to expect.  Based on what I've learned, my mom appears to be in the "late" stages of the disease.  Every time she takes a step down I grieve for the mom I've lost this time.  Sometimes I feel so guilty, because I just wish it would be over with.  But I love my mom so much--I can't stand this "death by a thousand cuts".

We are keeping my mom's cat in DD's bedroom by itself.  I'm so afraid he isn't going to fit in to the "general population".  I guess as long as DD isn't using the room, he can.  I know he's lonesome, though.  But he's eating and drinking, and asking for attention when I come in to check on him.....so I guess, all in all, so far anyhow, the transition for both the cat and for my mom has gone smoother than I would have expected.


GB's Mom said...

Praying for you. You have so much to deal with...

Anonymous said...

Carol, I grieve along with you during this difficult time. Praying you will have peace soon.