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Thursday, September 3, 2009

Strange but good....



Today I was looking on Craigslist just to pass some time while I waited for my job to work, and after I looked at all the "lost and found" ads, and the "free" ads, I started just browsing the stuff that was for sale. And I came across a little camper that someone was selling for $400. Of course that's way more money than I could come up with right now, but it wasn't really much money based on how my/our finances were before DH got sick....

So I started thinking....and I imagined the fun DH and I could have just using that camper (I guess since DD is gone, she isn't involved in my little fantasy)....I started thinking about how fun it would be to explore some state park that we've never been to, and imagining what kind of "adventures" we could have. I used to LOVE "adventures", where we would get in the car and drive, and where we ended up would be where we'd have supper--in an old cafe, at a campground....just someplace fun that we had never gone to before. And before DH got sick, we had some fantastic vacations, too, that were similar--one time we threw a dart at a map and ended up going on a vacation to Nebraska (yup, everyone we know said the same thing--WHY???!!!) but that was the best vacation we ever had....We only spent about $800 total (including gas, lodging (motel--$29.00/night!) and food), and we had so much fun!!!! I'd sure like to have the means to do that again....

And all of a sudden I realized: I haven't felt like this in a long time. I haven't imagined trips or "adventures" or camping, or anything like that. I think I must've forgotten how, when DH got so sick, and I got so busy....it really excited me and made me sad at the same time, that I'm surprised by my thinking.

I love DD very much, but she does add to my stress level, and knowing that she's safe and having fun AND gone temporarily gives me a peaceful feeling...

Maybe that time where they were both gone did more for me than I realized!

Maybe in a year or two, I'll be having "adventures" again.....

3 comments:

Veronica Lee said...

Thanks for the follow. I'm now following your lovely blog.

Sheri said...

It's a good sign that there are some aspects of your future that are hopeful. That time alone really did you some good.

perphila said...

I think about doing stuff with the kids like that a lot. I get sad that I can never seem to pull it together enough to actually do any of those things though. I feel like there is a deadline to their childhood and I have to do those things soon or they'll miss out which make me sad yet again. When I am doing the dreaming though if feels great.