Sunday, January 22, 2012

What I think about DH working

Well, it's been a little over a week since DH was fired.  Financially it hasn't really hit us since we had that last paycheck from him, and he had managed to show up for work every day that he was scheduled up to the day he was fired, and that was 5 days.  So actually, his last paycheck was bigger than his checks had been previously.....

But mental-health wise, after a day or two, it started to sink in.  DH got really depressed, as so many of his coworkers were people he counted as friends, and so in a sense, it was a kind of "double whammy" for him.  He stayed in bed for 3 or 4 days straight, only getting up to eat or smoke.  Then I came home from work one night, stopped at the nursing home to check on my mom, and DH was STILL in bed.  I had tried to be as understanding as I could--I knew that despite the fact that everyone around him could see it coming (the firing), he really didn't.  And losing a job in any way is disheartening and stressful.  But then, as he was laying in bed, he made some kind of comment about wanting to be a billionaire, and I got snarky.  I still feel bad about my comment, because his feelings were hurt, but I said "Do you think Bill Gates, at any time in his life, laid in bed for four days straight?"  I don't think it probably was my comment that motivated him, but shortly after that, he got out of bed.  He put in an application at McDonalds and has already had an interview.  Unfortunately, they told him they "aren't actually hiring, they're just compiling a list..."  But the fact that he went out and did that impressed me.

I also told him to file for unemployment.  I know two people who were fired from my part-time job who were able to get unemployment.  DH says "if I even get it, it won't be much", but I say it'd make things a lot easier to get $20/week than nothing, for sure.  So my task for the upcoming week is to get him to file for that.  I know that you're not supposed to be eligible if you get fired, but it seems like some places don't fight it, so he might as well see if that's the case. 

I think I'm starting to see that working really took everything he had.  He's done more around the house in the past 2 days than he did in the past 2 months.  I so much wish that his disability would go through.  Unfortunately, it looks like he'll probably end up re-applying because his case is at the top of the appeals levels now, and from what I understand, only 2% of cases are approved at that level.  Not hopeful.  But I'm seeing how much better things could be if he didn't feel like he had to work.  And if I didn't feel like I had to ask him to work.

Who knows?  Realistically, it could be 3 more years before he finds a job again.  I very much hope not.  But it's happened before.  I'm trying to focus on the fact that except for the 4 (3?) days he spent in bed, he hasn't been down much, and I was sure that when he did get fired, he'd be positively suicidal.  So there are good things.  I'm relieved and anxious about the future.


Miz Kizzle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Miz Kizzle said...

Your DH may be entitled to collect unemployment benefits, especially if he was hired as part of a program for people with disabilities and the firing was due to absenteeism rather than performance issues.
At any rate, he could ask for a hearing to explain that his employer changed his work schedule without his knowlege.

Miss Kitty said...

Thinking of you during these tough times, Carol. My fingers, toes, and eyes are crossed for DH's disability to finally be approved. I have a student in a kinda-similar situation now, and working is pretty difficult for her. But she takes her meds, goes to therapy, and goes to work and school as best she can until something better comes along.

(((HUGS))) to you, DH, and the critters.

CatLover said...

I keep hoping that things will get better for you both, with time.