To go or not to go?

Well, the 4th of July is right around the corner. And my mom is still (of course) in the nursing home, still not doing too good, although we're kind of getting used to it now...

So here's my quandary for the day:

There is a family reunion on the 4th of July. All my mom's relatives. Her brother, nieces and nephews, cousins....it's at my cousin's house. He lives out in the country, in a house with one bathroom. About 110 miles away from home. It's going to be a pot luck thing.

Before my mom got sick, she was really looking forward to this get-together. We went last year, and she was glad she went. Getting her into the bathroom was a chore a year ago. Now, I have no doubt, it'd be even tougher. But my mom is still talking about the "get-together". I tried to suggest that maybe we could just take a special trip down there when she was feeling better, but she looked so sad, I just dropped it. She's been pretty confused, so I was kind of hoping that maybe she'd forget. But I have read (and it seems to hold true) that Alzheimer's patients can remember things when they have an emotional investment in them....so she probably won't forget this one....

I'm torn. I really don't want to go. I'd rather stay home. It's a long drive. I'm shy & quiet and although I enjoy seeing my relatives, I don't thrive on chatting with them. But there are so many reasons why I should find a way to get my mom there, not the least of which is "what if it's her last family reunion?" and really, most of my reasons for not wanting to go are related to the inconvience and stress that I would experience, not the joy that she would experience.

DH feels strongly that we need to find a way to get her there. And I can see his point. The nursing home would let us bring her, as long as she wasn't gone for 24 hours. I'm worried about that bathroom, too. If there are 50 people there, and one bathroom, my mom's 25-minute bathroom trips aren't going to be appreciated much. But there I go again, focusing on what other people think and not what my mom would like....

Seeing those people might lift her out of her depression....

I have been entertaining the thought of driving down there, staying for about a half hour or so, and then heading home....that way my mom can go, but we won't overdo it...

Every day brings something new, doesn't it?

When I used to talk to my mom about DH and DD, back when my mom was clearer-headed, I used to tell her, "Some people get a little bit of crap here and there throughout their lives. I'm just getting all of mine at once. So when the crap is over, I'll just have a crap-free life from there on, because I'll have already received all my crap." LOL. My new question is "When will the crap be over?"

Oh....and DH confessed that he did not fold the laundry.