Tuesday, February 24, 2009

One crisis at a time, please....

Well, I haven't been writing, because I've been staying with my mom. It's really tough to see her like that--she's so unsure of herself--although she does seem to get a little better each day...tonite is the very first night that DH or I am not staying with her. We are going to see how things go without us. I am hoping and praying that everything goes ok. And I'm afraid that even if it does, I need to start looking at other options for her as far as living goes. Here's what I heard tonite, when i called her:

Me: Are you going to watch the president?
Mom: Yes, what channel is he on?
Me: He's probably on all the channels, I think if you just turn on the TV you won't have to worry about a channel (she hasn't remembered how any of the buttons on her remote work except the on/off yet)
Me: If I remember right, I left the remote right next to your phone.
Mom: Oh, there it is!
Me: Did you turn the TV on?
Mom: Nothing's happening.
Me: Did you point it at the TV?
Mom: What? Oh. No, I didn't. Nothing's still happening.
Me: Are you sure you're pointing it at the TV?
Mom: Where's the TV?
Me: Right there by the big window.
Mom: The big window?
Me: I think you should just call a helper, because it sounds like you're getting stressed out.
Mom: Ok! I can do that!

A month ago, she would've been telling me "I've been changing channels all night, there's nothing on but sports!" The change is very scary. And I can't imagine, that if she declines much from this point, that they could care for her well at her assisted living place. So, I think, unless I just completely assume that she would be going back to the nursing home where she just got out of, I need to look at other possibilities and get her on a waiting list for some of them, if that seems like something we should do.

I'm very relieved to be at work and knowing that I will be able to sleep in my own bed. But I'm worried that things won't go well there. I hope everything goes relatively smoothly....

And DD. Yesterday, she came home in tears, saying that some girls on the school bus said she smelled bad, and sprayed perfume on her "to make her smell better". So I had to call the school and get them tuned in to the potential bullying situation. For once, I believe that DD was telling the truth and not being dramatic. And the school took it very seriously, too.

And then....yes, there's a "then", of course! DH was telling me that he took DD to the library. DD gets on the phone and says, "Mom, I checked out an Anne Rice book on tape, and it's so creepy!!!" Instant mom alert. Anne Rice. THE Anne Rice? The one who writes erotic stuff about vampires? Yup. Definitely not suitable for a 15-year-old special needs kid. So there was a mini-meltdown when I told Dad to take it away from her. "But MOM!!! It's NOT THAT BAD!!! This one is ONLY about vampires, nothing else!" Yup, and Playboy is ONLY about the international news articles....Luckily, Dad could read from the back of the case that it probably was not "just about vampires"...

Oh--and the last thing? Not necessarily a crisis, but DH told me "I don't like my life." "I think the Abilify is working, and I am seeing my life more clearly. And I don't like what I see. I'm a lazy piece of sh**."

I'm not sure where we're going with that one. Hopefully it will motivate him to do something about that. He talked (for the first time in AGES) about volunteering. Maybe where my mom lives. Maybe at the nursing home. But he hates to see people suffering, so maybe not. I suggested the food shelf. I think he's still thinking about that one. Cross your fingers. These last couple of weeks have been nearly miraculous, in the way that he has been helping me with my mom. I have been amazed on a daily basis. So here's hoping that the amazement continues.


Anonymous said...

From my understanding, the erotic stuff she wrote wasn't vampire stuff. Googling the title should clarify the matter fairly quickly.

Anonymous said...

Maybe your DD would like the "Twilight" series. Lots of vampires but no eroticism.
As for your hubby, maybe he'd feel better about himself if he had a job? He seems to like to put himself down but he doesn't take steps to improve his lot in life. Where I live there are part-time jobs in the local library shelving books and at the parks, doing grounds-keeping. Maybe something like that would work for him?

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