Thursday, December 18, 2008

Repeat after me....

Remember DD's therapist, how she recommended that I "lower my expectations" with regard to DH....well, I keep messing up!!!

I got home this morning, and DD supposedly could not manage to get the garbage down to the road (that's one of her little "jobs"). DH was up, he said he'd take care of it. And then I changed the litter box that was starting to smell two days ago, that he said he'd take care of...

When I got up to go to work, I noticed that the load of DD's laundry that had been in the dryer, was now jumbled in a laundry basked, even though she had been instructed to fold it and put it away.

And then DD had an "issue", and when that was said and done, nobody had taken care of the ducks and chickens and I was at work and DH was all ready for bed.

I was so crabby--a lot of times I really truly feel like nothing, not even the little stuff that I specifically request, will get done at all unless I do it.

So right now I am going to count a few blessings to cheer myself up.

I'm employed. I have, not one, but two jobs. Right now, there are a lot of people who don't have any.

Nobody is having a crisis right now.

My mom seems relatively stable and even though I work a lot and feel rather guilty about that, I love my mom and I love making her life more pleasant.

DH is miles better than he was last year at this time (pre-Lithium).

I love where I live and all of my animals too.

Our house, despite the complaining you see on this blog, is full of love.

The bills are paid.

I have friends, both in "real life" and in the blogosphere!

I know I shouldn't complain so much, I really do. But sometimes (ok, lots of times) it all seems so absurd to me. And even when things make perfect sense to me, with DD and her problems, and DH and his mental illness, and my mom with her dementia, still nobody can see things clearly and then I start wondering if I'm the one who's not thinking right....it's nice to have a place to vent. But I think I am going to pay attention to how much I complain and try to tone it down a little, if I can. Sometimes I know it seems like that's all I do....whine, whine, whine...


Anonymous said...

I disagree. You need a place to vent. That is why you started your blog in the first place & to help keep you going. You really don't complain alot, you just get things off you chest to kkep you going on
your every day life.
Happy Holidays

Immi said...

Whine and vent away. You need a place you can do that without someone at home coming unglued over it and making things worse.
I wish I had some answers or tips about the chores and such. I've had periods where picking trash up off the floor was simply more than I could handle. I wonder, though, if sometimes we don't get lazy and just not go back to "picking trash up off the floor" and whatnot. It's so hard to tell, even from inside. It must be nigh impossible from the outside.
*sending hugs your way*

perphila said...

You just tell it like it is and how you feel. That's a good thing. If you were writing this stuff in a journal and not a blog would you feel like apologizing? It is good to keep the good stuff in perspective and you do a great job of keeping that balance. Could you do that without the venting part? :)

Lisa said...

I found you via your comment on Torina's blog. So glad to find you and hope to learn more about your journey.
Sending you a warm breeze of comfort and hope.

Grace. said...

Oh for heaven's sake. If one cannot vent, whine, and generally be obnoxious in a blog, then where? The world already has too many perky people in it!! Time for a reality check.

Torina said...

I agree with Grace on the too many perky people comment! Ugh. Life isn't easy or perfect. Blogging is such a great way to bring some balance to our worlds. Thank you for stopping by my blog! I look forward to following your story!