H1N1--DH hospitalized

Well, DH did not go to the hospital, and he tried to avoid going to the clinic this morning, too, saying he'd be "fine". But I could hear him wheezing, it sounded like he was having an asthma attack. So I made him go in. So much for avoiding the E.R., by the time I got him to do something, the clinic was booked for the day, so we HAD to go to the E.R.

They did three nebulizer (breathing) treatments and they didn't work. So they started giving him steroids via I.V. and did blood work and X-rays. When I talked to the Dr., he said that basically everything has been ruled out except H1N1. They did a swab test but they said they have to send it to the CDC(?) so it could be a couple of days before they get results back. I get the impression that our small town hospital was very prepared for H1N1 but hasn't seen too many cases yet.

DH has been admitted to the hospital because they can't get his breathing under control. I just called there and they're trying another nebulizer treatment.

I'm at work because I don't have much vacation time left (I used a lot when my mom was sick not too long ago, and she's not doing all that great now) and I don't want to use it all up.

DD's pca has agreed to stay with her, so she won't be alone and someone will be there to let out the dogs.....

I'm worried about DH. I've never seen him this sick. But I do know he's in good hands...

And a little nervous about myself. I don't have any symptoms that I know of, but I can't afford to get sick like that. I just can't.

Called home

I was sitting here (at work) worrying about DH. So I risked waking him up and called him just to tell him to go in to the E.R. if he has to, a hospital bill is not THAT big of a deal--and a bill I can't pay, not all that unusual....he said he would go if he had to. He said he took some Nyquil and was going to try to sleep. I'm worried that he has H1N1 (swine flu), but he didn't have a fever....? I know he must really be sick if he hasn't been smoking.....that's scary in itself--because he is SO addicted!

So I told him that if he makes it through the night, he needed to go to the clinic asap in the morning. He pretended like I was being bossy, but said he would.

I'll keep you posted (probably not until tomorrow, though, as I'm leaving work in about an hour).

What's worse than a bipolar hubby?

Answer: A bipolar hubby who's got a bad cold.

DH is sick. I know he's miserable. It started on Saturday, and it seems to be getting worse. He's been coughing up a storm, and all congested. But up until today, that didn't stop him from putting cigarette smoke into his lungs :P

Most of the time it's tough for me to know how sick he really is. And I can't tell by the fact that he isn't doing much around the house, because he ALWAYS doesn't do much around the house. All I can do is go by his complaints most of the time.

But right now I think he is pretty sick. He's not even smoking any more.

I took his temperature yesterday--he felt warm to me, but the thermometer said "no fever". "Swine flu" involves a fever, doesn't it?

So, I just got done talking with him. He sounds terrible. He can't stop coughing. He says his chest really hurts bad, and I can tell, from talking to him on the phone, that he's having a hard time breathing. I want to tell him to go to the E.R. It sounds that bad. But instead, I tell him to see if he can make it until morning, and go in right away.

See, if he goes to the E.R. tonite, it's a $60.00 copay just to walk in the door, plus we have to pay for 20% of whatever it costs. So if the E.R. visit costs $3,000, then we have to come up with $60 PLUS $600 (20%). If he can make it until morning, and go to the clinic, it'll cost $20.00 for a copay, and the X-rays and all the tests will be covered.

So now I'm sitting here rethinking what I told him. Is he going to have the common sense to go in if he needs to, or is he going to try to stay home because I told him to? I think I was clear when I said to go in if he needed to, but see if he could make it until morming....? And if I call him to clarify (at midnight), am I going to wake him up and make him feel bad again....?

It really sucks to be in that position. And I know we're not the only ones. We're very lucky that I have insurance at all. But that doesn't help when all these copays/coinsurance make it tough to "buck up" and go to the hospital. I really think he needs to go. But I'm scared that I won't be able to pay that bill.

Your prayers are helping

DH's friend's wife, that is.....yesterday they removed the ventilator, she passed the "swallow" test, and her feeding tube has been removed. She is out of ICU and in her own room. It looks like she will recover. Thanks to everyone who took the time to say a little prayer for her....I ran into the dad and one of the daughters (age 9) at the grocery store, and they were both so happy, all smiles.....

P.S. I just found out (because DD can't keep a secret) that DH has pawned his deer hunting rifle. So I guess no venison for us this year :-( Yes, I'm angry. But as much as I want to, I can't control him.

Coming to PBS: Minds on the Edge--Facing Mental Illness

This sounds like a very insightful program--I don't have TV right now, so I have to wait until I can watch it on line (after Oct. 1).

"MINDS ON THE EDGE: Facing Mental Illness zeros in on wrenching situations playing out every day in hospital ERs, on city streets and school campuses, in courtrooms and in jails, as Americans struggle with serious mental illnesses like schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. The dramatic scenario of this Fred Friendly Seminars program reveals personal dilemmas facing individuals and families, medical practices that can be obstacles to treatment, and public polices that are falling short."

"Moderated by Frank Sesno, the program features Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer, Nobel-Prize-winning neuroscientist Eric Kandel, Pulitzer-nominated journalist Pete Earley, and other panelists from law, medicine, and public policy — including several who have personally faced the challenges of mental illness and offer their riveting insights."



Here's a link for more information:

Minds on the Edge

This weekend....the Alzheimer's roller coaster!

My mom has been relatively stable since she got back to her assisted living apartment. She isn't the same as she was before this last episode, of course. She does a lot more sitting around, doing absolutely nothing than she used to. I started to notice that she was kind of depressed. "Hey Mom, wanna go to the casino Monday?" (that's her very most favorite thing in the world) "Oh, all right, if that's what you want." "Hey Mom, wanna go shop at the dollar store?" (another favorite) "No, not today, I don't think"...so when we went to the Dr. this past week, I mentioned that. And he prescribed Celexa, an antidepressant.

He also discontinued her Vicodin, which they had put her on when she was in the nursing home. At that time she was so incoherent, they wondered if maybe she was having pain that she couldn't articulate, so they put her on Vicodin. Then, when the Xanax proved to be the drug that helped, I talked to the nurse practitioner about stopping the Vicodin, and she did not want to do it. Me, I thought, "She did not complain of pain before. This drug did not improve her cognitive condition. So what do we need it for?" The nurse practitioner informed me that she still MIGHT have some pain, so they thought she should stay on it for a "while". What do I know? I went along with it. On Friday she finally had her first follow-up appointment with a doctor since she got out of the nursing home (in our small town the good doctors are booked up for months in advance....) and the Dr. agreed that there was no real reason to keep Mom on the Vicodin. So he stopped it. Ok!

Now she's more depressed than ever. She didn't even want to go to McDonalds today "because you would be embarrassed to be seen with me. I stink." I talked her into going, and she did perk up. She was talking and laughing with DD and making comments about the weather....but when we got her home, she told me she had to use the bathroom. "Where is the bathroom again?" Uh-oh.

But I had to go to work. So I pointed her in the direction of the bathroom, and she said, "Oh! Now I remember!", so I thought it was ok. I went home to get DD home and to get ready for work. At 8:45 (I had to be to work by 9pm), my brother called. (DH is actually at my brother's house, having a "guy" night.) Apparently when my brother called my mom, she couldn't remember how to hang up the phone. She had to use her "beeper" to page an aide to help her. So on my way to work, I checked on her again, and she looked very anxious, but she told me she was ok. But she was making these little whimpering sounds, like a little kid who was lost and didn't know what to do. I went and talked to an aide and nobody is sure what is going on. I'm thinking that it's one of the med changes, but I don't know which one. Either the antidepressant messed her up, or the Vicodin withdrawals are causing this. I'm afraid to take her to the hospital (because if she is admitted, it will be another huge cognitive drop), but I told the aide that if my mom has a rough night, I'll get her in to the clinic in the morning to be checked for a bladder infection.

And now I'm feeling guilty for wanting the antidepressant for her, but it's so not like her to be depressed, I didn't know what else to do! It's like that Whack-a-Mole game--you try to fix one problem and two new ones pop up.

I hope this is just a "bump" in the road....

Prayers requested

Hi everyone, I hope you know that I don't usually ask this of you but.... here's what's been going on...

DD has a friend who's very quiet and polite--we really like her and her younger sister, too. Their family is very dysfunctional. They are on welfare and share a house with other family members. (They're the ones I posted about recently, where a relative actually owns the house, but only "lives" there when he and his significant other have been drinking....) They are really the kind of people you make comments about, but the kids are very nice. And I want to help them, for sure.

Anyhow, DH has become friends with the girl's father. And I like him, too. He seems very nice, although a little slow. And I'm glad that DH has a friend, since all of his pre-bipolar friends have abandoned him....DH and this new friend of his can sit and talk for hours. And (friend) is usually willing to help out with whatever DH is supposed to be doing, and DH has done some favors for him, too.

The father has been questioning his relationship with the mother because the mother refuses to help out with the kids, refuses to take her medications, and gets angry when he applies for a job....he's been trying to figure out what to do, since the welfare people are ordering him to find a job--who will take care of the kids? Etc. And maybe he should leave. Drama. But he's a nice guy. He really seems like a caring person, despite his shortfalls...

Anyhow, about two weeks ago, this man's wife had a seizure. It was known that she had some medical issues, so a seizure wasn't too big of a deal....but when they were on their way to the hospital, she had another one, so they called an ambulance. At the hospital it was discovered that her lungs were filling up with fluid and she had a large blood-filled cyst on an ovary. (I don't know what the "official" diagnosis/prognosis is or was, this is just what the guy told DH.)

So they sent her to a more urban, well-equipped hospital. She continued to deteriorate, and was put on a ventilator. They sedated her. DH said that based on what his friend had told him, they expected her to make a full recovery. It almost sounded like someone talking about a person having a bad cold or something. Not a big deal. I dunno, it sounded pretty dire to me...but it could be that the dad/friend did not understand how awful this really sounded....

Anyhow, today apparently, they called him and told him that she had taken a turn for the worse--she had aspirated fluid during another seizure. Luckily Social Services was able to give him some gas money to get back to the hospital....now suddenly, I think he is understanding the gravity of the situation. And it's one thing to consider if it's a good idea to become a single parent, but it's a whole 'nother ball of wax if you don't have a choice in the matter....

I'm worried. So I thought that maybe if some of you who pray, could say a prayer for her, well, she might not appreciate it, but I would, if only for two girls who could be losing their mom...

So how did DH's Bipolar Disability appointment go?

I haven't posted yet about DH's appointment on Monday, I wanted to kind of digest it before I put it into words. In a nutshell, it didn't go all that well.

Now, in case you weren't aware of it, and I'm not sure if I've written about it here or not, but DH was overweight when I met him and when I married him. Since the bipolar started, he's gained about 130 pounds. He's very big.

So....this appointment was apparently to discuss his obesity and back problems. The doctor that we saw is retired, but he specialized in gastric bypass surgeries before he retired. He spent about half of the appointment trying to drive DH to have gastric bypass. I'm not convinced. I'm afraid that DH, with his addictive personality, would lose weight, but compensate by some other addiction--drugs, alcohol, gambling.....etc. And for me, the excess weight is the easiest thing to deal with right now.

But anyhow, the Dr. really really thought that the only thing that was going to "save" DH was if he had bypass surgery. He talked about how people go on diets and then gain all their weight back. He talked about all the health problems that obesity causes. And about how DH's back problems were undoubtedly related to his obesity, etc. etc....and that was pretty much the whole sales pitch.

Then it took about 5 minutes for him to go through the Social Security questions: "How far can you walk without resting?" "How long can you sit?" "What activities has your back pain caused you to give up?" But....I knew we were sunk, when the Dr. asked DH "What is the most you can lift?" and DH said "about 50 pounds". And then explained that he lifts the bags of chicken feed....about once every two weeks. Woops.

Then, the Dr. told DH that he probably had sleep apnea. DH said he knows he does, but the CPAP makes him anxious. The doctor wrote that down, too, so that probably makes it look like he's noncompliant.

All in all, basically it was a lecture on the benefits of gastric bypass. I keep telling myself that since DH is going for disability on the grounds of being bipolar, that the back problems are peripheral, but then I think that if they (Social Security) thought the same way, that they wouldn't have bothered to send him to a back doctor. I really wish I knew more about how this all works.

Anyhow, kind of a sucky day.