I don't know where to start!
First, DH went to another job interview, for a janitor (part time) and they told him in the interview that he had the job and that they'd call him this week to let him know when to come in for orientation. But they haven't called. I know it's possible that DH misunderstood them, that maybe he really didn't get the job like he thought or whatever but.....
And DD. She's been hugely unstable this week. Lots of tantrums, lots of insults, pushing, shoving, I cannot even make my voice do what she does when she screams for hours on end. And she can't get in to get her meds re-evaluated until March 1. I don't know how I'll survive because....
DH admitted to me that he hasn't taken his pills this past week. I had wondered about that, because he was losing his temper with DD a LOT more than usual, and taking her stupid rantings personally. He was on the verge of punching her a few times, and it scared me. I could tell it was "That Guy", and he wasn't being rational at all. I just thought, though, that it was "one of those times" when "That Guy" isn't completely controlled by the medications. But then he told me that Sarah (our most elderly dog) had an accident on the floor (she has a lot of them because of the diabetes insipidus) and that he wanted to take her out back and shoot her. I haven't heard talk like that since he got started on the Lithium. And that alarmed me very much. But I didn't find out until yesterday's tussle with DD that he hadn't been taking his medications. Apparently he thought he'd do a better job at his new job, if he had all the ambition he had before he "had to take the meds". ARGH. So I personally watched while he took them yesterday, I hope he continues taking them, because "That Guy" will find himself single if he doesn't go back where he came from. I HATE "THAT GUY".
So.....on a very good note.....I found out that we'll be getting $4,000 back in my/our tax refund. I'm really excited about it, because I'll be able to pay off DH's truck, and then we won't have to have full coverage for the insurance any more. All in all, paying off the truck will give us about $400 more per month. Which will actually bring our budget from "there's no way possible to live within our means" to "if I'm very careful, we might have a few dollars left every month."
And, that's a very big thing, since I still having found a full time job.
Luckily, though, my part time job has been very happy to oblige me with more hours. I just wish I liked it better and that it paid more. I have decided that I need to find a job where there are mentally stable people. There are too many unstable people in my life and I need some stability.
Anyhow, on another tangent, DH's car (the one his mom gave him/us) is having some kind of problem which is probably the water pump going out. DH contacted his friend Jim and asked if Jim could help. Jim sent us $200 (yay!!!!!). But now DH (remember he's been "That Guy" this week) has been bound and determined to spend that money and he's been getting angry with me again when I tell him that we need to save it to fix his car. Today I told him that part of the tax refund showed up, and he got angry when I wouldn't give him any money, although when I left home he had personally told me that he has: pop, cigarettes, a frozen pizza and a candy bar. And plenty of gas. And now he's mad that I won't give him more money. Trying to make me feel like the "bad guy". I'm glad I'm stronger than I used to be, for sure.
But I guess right now, "I'm very angry at DH and at "That Guy" and fantasizing about how much easier life would be if I was on my own" would be a very good way of summing up my thoughts and feelings right now.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
I don't know where to start!