Wednesday, February 10, 2010

So far this week, I'm discouraged.

First of all, I am proud of DH, because he went to the workforce center and actually applied for four jobs! And then....to my shock and amazement, he got an appointment for an interview!!!! I couldn't believe it, and I have to admit, I was a little jealous, since I have applied for TONS of jobs and haven't even gotten a call back.

So anyhow, DH was very excited about his interview. I wasn't so sure, because, again, it was a position that involved more responsibility than I think he can handle...but....

The interview was Monday, at 1pm, an hour away from us. We were in the middle of a snowstorm, so it was probably going to be quite a bit longer than an hour to get there. I woke DH up at 10am. And 10:01, 10:02, up to about 10:15. "Stop poking me!" was the best response I got. "You've got a job interview at 1pm, remember?" And he says, "YEAH. I REMEMBER. WHY ARE YOU WAKING ME UP SO EARLY?" I said, "because I thought you might want to take time to get ready, and because the roads will probably be bad." By this time it was 10:30 and I was pretty crabby. DH said, "Well don't worry about it. I've got it under control." I said, "You sure?" And he said (in a not very kind voice) "YES. STOP WAKING ME UP." So I did.

And you can guess what happened. He woke up at about 1:15pm and has spent the rest of the day beating himself up about it. I'm beyond being mad. I know that if he could've gotten up, he would have....but that's the whole point, isn't it? He can't even get up for one job interview, how is he going to make it to work on time every day? Argh.

And then.....I got home from the library last night, and DH says, "Your old company just called about that job you applied for." I got all excited. Except DH didn't take down a name or a number. "I....think....her name was Amy....?" he said.

It's a major corporation. How am I going to find "Amy"?

I got kind of hopeful, though.....maybe they were calling for a second interview after all????

Anyhow, it was after 5pm, so anyone who could have helped me had gone home for the day. So I was hopeful all night. After all, they wouldn't CALL me to tell me that I didn't get the job, would they?

Yep, they would. And they did. I knew it, and had I gotten something in the mail, I wouldn't have been surprised or disappointed, but that really sucked.

And in the process of trying to find out who "Amy" was, I realized that there are so many things happening to me and around me that are not within my control....I need to figure out what I can change and what I can control, and concentrate on those things.....if I can....

My next therapy appointment is on Feb. 18. We'll see how that goes....


perphila said...

Yeah, that old serenity prayer right?

Sorry about the job. :(

As for DH, well, I'm sorry about that too. I know how frustrating it can be.

GB's Mom said...

The serenity prayer really helps.I hope your appointment on the 18th gives you some relief.

Carol said...

I have a bipolar sister and I found something that helped me that didn't involve expensive therapy sessions. Years ago, I discovered the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill (NAMI). They have a class for relatives of the mentally ill called FAmily to Family. It is a 12 week course that meets for one session per week for about 2 1/2 hours. Look them up online as they are all over the US and I'm sure you will probably find them in MN. I was recently trained to teach the course and am currently a one morning a week volunteer in their Beaufort, SC office. My heart goes out to you. You have so much to deal with. I can also relate to your efforts to help your mother. I had a mother who suffered severe dementia. She died three years ago and it was tough at the time, but also a blessing for her, I think, as the quality of life was so bad.