Tuesday, December 29, 2009

I know I should get used to it.....

Well, I still have to work my full time job until January 29. So today, I had to be there at 1:30pm for a meeting. Here's how the day went:

I got up at 9am, hopped in the shower. The phone rang, it was my boss from my part time job, wanting to know if I wanted a couple of extra shifts this weekend--I said yes. Then I remembered I had a scheduling conflict and had to call her back and tell her about that, it was embarrassing. But she just did a little bit of juggling and it turned out to be no big deal.

Then, I went out to take care of the chickens and....3 stupid ones apparently froze(?) to death last night? There were three chickens, they were outside the chicken house, no blood, just all three were dead. That really bummed me out, because if I was home more, I probably could've prevented that. And I'm so fond of all the chickens, I get very sad when even one dies. So that was a crappy thing.

Then, DH was still in bed, and the neighbor was out in the yard, trying to get the 4-wheeler going to plow his driveway (he gave us a bunch of firewood for the privilege) and I woke DH up and he just wouldn't wake up, and wouldn't wake up.....then he finally went out onto the deck and hollered to the neighbor, but wasn't even friendly enough to go down and say hi. Then, I went inside, and HE WAS BACK IN BED AGAIN. He said the "house was cold". I said, "That's usually when you start a fire." He said, "but I'd have to go outside for that."

But I had to go to the store for my mom before I went to work, because I knew she was almost out of Kleenex, and she goes through about a whole box in a day....her nose runs ALL THE TIME, and sometimes I think it doesn't, but she's just obsessed with it....anyhow, whatever the case is, she needed Kleenex, so I went to the store. Then I went to her apartment, and she was in the bathroom and didn't want me to leave until she got done. So I did that, and while I was there, I noted that her cat is almost out of food, and I also remembered that I had promised to buy a birthday card for my brother (from my mom) and I hadn't.

Then I ran home and changed my clothes and went to work. A half hour late, didn't want to go to that meeting anyhow, and hey....I'm getting laid off (bad attitude there, I know)....anyhow, I got to work and the meeting was cancelled anyhow. Grr.

At 2pm, when I got to work, I called home, and DH was still in bed.

So now that I'm here, I'm feeling sorry for myself for being laid off (soon) again. I'm shy. I don't like to socialize. I don't like to meet people. How am I going to "sell myself"? I think I'm getting depressed over this job thing. I look at job postings and even though they "sound" fun, I don't want to apply, because I don't know what my plan is yet. So then I start worrying again. I know I'm determined, and I know I'll find a way, but right now it just feels kind of hopeless.

And yes, this is the same person that took the census test, scored as high as I possibly could, and was excited about the prospects of that....apparently that was last week's thing :-)

(Don't worry, I'll get over it)


perphila said...

Give yourself a break...:)

Get used to it? Heck, I'm not used to my life either and I have had two years to "adjust". There is something inside you that screams how just not "right" all this is. Change is a scary thing. It can be exciting but it is always a bit scary. I personally am not so keen on changes made to my life I don't make myself. I imagine you weren't too keen either. Have your bad bad and I hope you feel better soon.