Going back and forth

I keep going back and forth. I wake up terrified that I won't be able to find another job, that I won't be able to pay the bills....then I get up and start thinking about the possibilities and I get excited and hopeful. I just need to shut off the scared, crying person.

I still think that if the financial picture in our house would have been a little better, I would be hugely excited about this.

I haven't told DD yet. She is so terrified of losing our house. She's seen some of her classmates lose their houses, and she is always asking for reassurance: Mom, are we going to lose our house?

So I'm going to talk to her therapist tomorrow to see if there is a "best" way to tell DD. The therapist will be a good resource, because her husband has been out of work for nearly a year now, and he's got a Masters' degree.

I wish I could say that DH has stepped right up to the plate, ran out and got a job, but that's not the case. He's been talking about it, but I don't know really, if he could work, even if he managed to find something....

I think I'm going to start applying for stuff this week, though, because I feel like I need to be doing something. Tomorrow's my first day back to work since I got told. I'm scared and kind of humiliated about that, too.