Wednesday, August 20, 2008

A not so ideal situation...maybe?

Well, DH's mother, who lives about 4 hours from us, wants DH to come and do some work for her, and she will pay him. When I first heard that, I got pretty excited, because I might actually have some alone time! We talked about him possibly leaving on Thursday. We decided that the best idea would be for him to bring DD with him, even though she will undoubtedly interfere with any work he is trying to do, I am scheduled to work 66 hours in the next 6 days, and I cannot fathom leaving her alone for those long stretches of time, even if most of them are past her bedtime.

Because of my long commute, it would be impossible for me to run home to help with a crisis, too. I explained all of this to DH, and he agreed, there really was no question: he has to take DD with him. Ok, then, it's all settled.

Except it's not. DH just called me and told me that his mom wants him to come tomorrow instead. His mom can be kind of impulsive and demanding, so that in itself didn't surprise me. But then he says, "She sounded a little disappointed that I had to bring DD." And then he asked me if, wouldn't I rather have her stay home so that DD could let the dogs out and all that? I said no. If it was one night, then I'd have no problem. But now we're talking about FIVE nights. And the shortest shift I am working on any of those nights is 10 hours. I can't even fathom doing that.

It seems very common sense to me. If he goes, she HAS to go with him, and if his mom is disappointed, well, too bad. Maybe that's being a little too assertive, but this is my kid, and she needs to be supervised. Just because her birth certificate says she's 15 doesn't mean that she is 15 developmentally. (And who would leave a 15 year old alone that much anyhow? Just asking for trouble if you ask me.) If I'm working 10 or 12 hours a night, and sleeping 6 hours, that basically leaves her all by herself for 5 days!!! No way.

So then DH starts in with the "I probably shouldn't even go."

I didn't buy into his guilt trip, though. I just told him that was his choice, but in case he does go, "DD MUST GO WITH."

If he were to bring DD with, it would be hard on a couple of the dogs. Four of the dogs can "hold it" for a very long time hours and be ok. I found that out when DH was in the hospital. But the two senior dogs, well, Kirby needs to go out every 3-4 hours or he (ahem) uses the laundry room. And same with Woo-Woo. So I'd probably have to clean up some messes. But the thought of it, nobody asking me for money...no drama....no whining....oh my, if they really did go, what a wonderful mental health break for me!!!!! I'm crossing my fingers that I can get him to see things my way. If they don't go, I'm sure I'll be the "bad guy" and things'll be a zillion times worse! So cross your fingers with me!


perphila said...

Bottom line is a supervision issue. You are absolutely right about DD needing a parent. I wouldn't leave my 15 year old alone for that long either. Maybe an overnight in an emergency. That isn't the case here. DH is the dad here right? So, he has a responsibility to DD not his mother's mood. Do I sound harsh? :) I mean to say you said the right thing and this could be a good thing for everyone..except maybe his mom's mood and a doggie bladder or two..:)