The nurse practitioner called me and let me know that my mom's hemoglobin was at 8.2. 8.0 is usually the cut-off for when someone needs a transfusion. She offered me some options--1) do nothing, let nature take its course (since I was already agonizing about life and death decisions with Sarah, this one was tough to entertain.... and 2) do the transfusion and see how long her hemoglobin improves for and reconsider...and 3) do a whole bunch of tests to see if we can figure out where the bleeding is coming from. That one isn't under serious consideration, because first of all, my mom has been anemic for years and has had CT scans, MRIs, colonoscopies, esophageal scopes and other tests to find the source and nothing has ever turned up and also....my mom is so frail right now, even if we did find something, there probably wouldn't be much we could do about it--it's not like if we found colon cancer, for example, that we could do surgery or chemo or radiation, so what's really the point of putting her through all those tests that are so stressful....?
After looking online and talking to some people, I had pretty much decided that a transfusion (at least the very first one ever) would be minimally invasive and with very little risk of side effects, so I was pretty set to go ahead....
Then I went to visit her, and the first thing she said was "I'm not sure how to tell you this, but I'm going to be coming into a lot of money tomorrow. More than a hundred dollars! I'm in shock! The caretaker here (NH?) is going to give it to me."....so right away I ran into the hallway, caught the charge nurse and asked her to order a UA--sure enough, hazy urine with "many" bacteria 
I'm losing count of how many UTIs this makes. They're starting her on a CEPHA antibiotic until they get the culture back. I'm suspecting, since the NP warned me that it could happen, that this is the VRE again....sigh....
But wait! There's more! The charge nurse examined her and there was a small amount of bloody fluid coming from her left ear. Then, a few hours later, there was bloody fluid coming from her right ear, also. NP will be officially checking this today, but general consensus is ear infection(s) in both ears. My mom says she has no pain, thank goodness...
They say the CEPHA antibiotic will also help the ear infection(s)....but this is very scary to me, as I cannot remember the last time my mom had one ear infection (maybe 30 years ago?) let alone two (never?)...
It's like an old car where more and more parts wear out until you just can't fix it any more.
And I'm not ready for this.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
My mom is falling apart, piece by piece....
Posted by Carol at 6:54 AM
Labels: Alzheimer's, dementia, dying, elderly, mom, nursing home, stress
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4 comments:
None of us are ever ready for this, Carol. My father had a stroke and died 8 months later. It was such a sad way to go that I hoped things would be faster when my mother's time came. It was--she didn't survive heart surgery, and it was all over within 10 days. But guess what--that wasn't good, either. No matter what our age, losing our parents makes us feel like orphans. And it really is all outside of our hands. Please take care. You've had a heck of a year.
I'm so sorry to hear of this. It doesn't matter how old we are it's always horrible to lose a parent. Even worse to watch them get sicker and sicker and not be able to help them. No one wants to remember their parent like this. My Mom just got put in a nursing home and is so depressed she barely speaks or acknowledges I am there. I can't bare to see her like this knowing she was so vibrant in life.
I do hope and pray your Mom gets better. And I know this is not at all easy for you to go through.
((hugs))
All you can do in sad and tough situations is handle things one thing at a time, as best as you can. This is really out of your control and no matter how much you want to make things better or fix things all you can really do is make your mom as comfortable as possible and you are doing that. Not just physically but by being there every day. My thoughts and prayers will be there for you and your mom. *hugs*
At least she's not in pain. Palliative care seems like the best thing at this point. You did the right thing moving her to the nursing home. It would have been overwhelming for her to be in her senior apartment. If only your siblings were able/willing to give you more support.
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