Tuesday, October 6, 2009

DH is home (or, nightmare week(end))

Well, DH came home on Saturday night. Still wheezing to beat the band. But the hospital said they really couldn't do much for him, so he might as well wait it out at home as at the hospital...I'm so much dreading that bill, I get a headache every time I think about it!

So anyhow, DH home is just like DH being gone, except messier, of course. Dogs not getting let out, not much else getting done....but hey, he's sick, I know.

Sunday morning I get a call from my mom's assisted living place, can I come and check on her? She's really anxious and won't even get out of bed. She just keeps laying there, saying "I just can't do anything." So I get up and go over there and, sure enough, she just keeps saying that over and over. I don't know what to do. I had to call my brother and ask him to come up and help, because I had been up all night working and couldn't stay there all day unless I absolutely had to. And of course, couldn't have DH go over there....I am not really clear on how long he is/will be contagious (we still don't have test results from the CDC yet), but definitely wouldn't be a good plan, even if DH felt like getting out of bed. So my brother comes up and discovers this: "She keeps saying she can't do anything". umm...

I know all her blood work has been great. So it's some kind of anxiety attack thing, don't know if it's related to Alzheimer's or what (I suspect it is) but all that we can do until her Dr. appt later this week is try to make her laugh. And she's not having much of that.

So I go home and go to sleep for a while (did I mention it rained for about 3 days straight?). I go to work. DD calls me (because dad won't wake up long enough) to tell me that the "ceiling in her bathroom is leaking really really bad". Argh. Remember that roof? I sure do. I spent a large portion of the roof money on Sarah puppy, to find out that there was nothing they could do about her diabetes insipidus. And the rest on bills. Because I knew that DH wasn't going to be able to fix the roof anyhow. Heck, he can't even sweep the floor most days. So. New roof is the very first thing on the "what to spend all my money on" list. Oh. Except propane, which I have no idea how to pay for....

Seems like I have a lot of days/nights like that, doesn't it? It does to me, too. It sure would be nice to have one crisis at a time. Oh well, I guess....

So anyhow, tonite, I guess, DD had her "girls group" again. It's a group for girls who have a hard time getting along with people and making friends. Unfortunately, the thing this week is that her most recent friend (the one who stayed at our house last time DD had a meltdown) has decided not to be friends with DD because DD is not nice to her. It's my understanding that the friend was asked by DD to be an "editor" of one of her school assignments, a story she wrote. The teacher had all the editors fill out a questionnaire about the story they were critiquing (every kid had to have someone critique their story, and DD picked her friend). I looked at the story, it really was pretty poorly done. Lots of typos, not really a plot, etc. I also saw the critique her friend wrote, which was tactfully honest: "I think maybe you should proofread this again. Some of the sentences don't seem to make sense." And DD got angry and told her friend she never liked her anyhow, etc., etc., and now she's surprised that friend doesn't want to be her friend any more.

I know it's all related to her disability, but it seems so obvious to me, you know?

Anyhow, DD has also DECIDED that she is having a Halloween party (she did this last year, for those of you who remember)....The first thing I knew of it was when she showed me the invitations she had made up for her party. "What party?" I said. She said, "I'm having a party on Oct. 16. This is who I'm inviting. Can you come up with some games?" I said, "I thought you were grounded." She said, "I was, but I've been really really good...." I said, "Well, I'll talk to Dad, but I think you probably should figure out IF you're allowed to have a party before you send out invitations...."

I talked to DH and he said (even in his stupor) "She's grounded."

We don't know what DD has been telling the kids at school about this party, but her ex-friend's little sister (age 9) has been forbidden to go (to the party that doesn't exist). So DD is currently (according to DH) screaming at the top of her lungs about how nobody likes her, how friend's parents hate her, how we never let her do anything, etc....

DH couldn't stand the screaming. So he left! And called me at work (2 hours away). "Can you call DD and calm her down?" "I left. I couldn't stand it any more."

I told him I was not going to call her because the screaming is an attention seeking behavior and if we give her attention for it, she will be rewarded. So I told him to go home, tell her to go to her room, and when she says no, start taking away privileges again. These tantrums are getting really really old.

And I probably would've wanted to leave too, but jeez....she's out of control so you LEAVE? How does that help?????? Who is in charge there????!!!!!


perphila said...

I guess leaving is better than flipping out and screaming back or hitting. I have seen it, trust me. Still, leaving isn't a very good option either your right.

I hope your mom is able to get out of bed soon. She sounds so scared and sad. I don't know how you do it.

If I win the lottery I'll get you a new roof...:)

Miz Kizzle said...

Unless you feel like hosting a party tell your DD no. I doubt anyone would show up anyway, but if they do you could tell them you're sorry but she didn't get permission to have a party. Then hand them a candy bar and send them on their way.
It seems like you're the only responsible person in your house. That sucks. If I were you I'd pack up my stuff, put the dogs in a kennel and take off for a few days. You seriously need a vacation.
have you checked with the social services agencies in your area about your roof. Where I live, Vo-Tech kids volunteer to fix up houses for homeowners who can't afford to pay a contractor. The kids are supervised by volunteer adults, including some who work in construction. It wouldn't hurt to check it out.

Carol said...

What a good idea! (Checking with social services)....I am going to call them and see if they have any help available. I'm afraid, though, that I probably make too much money. It's kind of sad. Between the two jobs, I actually make decent money, but every penny of it goes to the truck, the 4-wheeler, cigarettes, pop, and pet food/litter. They'll probably tell me that I'm not at the poverty level, so I don't qualify. But you never know until you ask, for sure! Thanks for the suggestion!!!

And I do need a vacation. So bad. But what I REALLY need, is for DH to take a vacation. So I can stay at home and snuggle with my critters and read books and clean the house, cut the grass, watch the chickens....'course then, I'd probably just spend extra time with my mom, instead!