Wednesday, March 30, 2011

It's going to hit the fan tonite.

Well, we had just tentatively made the decision to plan for DD to come back home after her stay at the RTC.  The staff there had made such a point of telling us "how she's turned it around" and "she's really working hard to make this work", so we felt like she should have a chance.

That was less than a week ago.

Over the weekend, she was assaultive towards another kid and a staff, then ran away from the RTC and the police brought her back.  She continued to be verbally abusive to staff and peers after this, and bordering on becoming physical again, so the staff there has changed their recommendation to a group home or foster care setting.

They're going to tell her tonite.  And I'm certain that it won't be pretty.

We will be meeting with DD, therapist and staff tomorrow night.  Not looking forward to the blame that she will heap on us for the choices she made.  But they were her choices.

I'd like to say I'm surprised, but I thought all along that this was what the outcome would be.  I was hoping I was wrong.

Since she's on the brink of 18, there will be a lot to learn....for sure.

In my "bad mom" moments I just want to wash my hands of the whole situation, but I (most of the time) love her too much to give up completely.

The RCT told us to prepare for phone calls tonite.  Yikes.

P.S.  We still have not heard anything about DH's disability--it's been 6 weeks now, and they said 2-4.....probably not a good sign :-(


GB's Mom said...

Prayers and hugs- it won't be easy.

Grace. said...

Carol--have you given some thought to the proposition that your daughter is actually afraid to leave the facility, and that she is engineering a way to stay? Maybe not on a conscious level, but she may know she's not ready to come home yet. I'd continue to be supportive but acknowledge the fear, and the need to spend more time in RTC actually dealing with it. She's very young, and there's plenty of time to come home later.

As for the disability, the Social Security Administration is slower than molasses--automatically double any timeframes they give you.

Miz Kizzle said...

I agree with Grace. It's normal for people to get so comfortable in a very controlled environment, one in which they feel safe, that they panic at the thought of leaving. Are you familiar with the O. Henry story about the guy who was released from jail who committed a crime in order to get back behind bars?
O. Henry did jail time himself; he knew all about feeling overwhelmed by the prospect of freedom.

Anonymous said...

freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose