Friday, October 21, 2011

DH is becoming more unstable

I am seeing mood swings often.  Yesterday, DH called me at work and was in such a good mood, he was so happy to hear my voice, he was going to make me supper and clean the kitchen, and he couldn't wait until I got home.  I drove home feeling like it was a rare day when I could feel really good about my marriage--I was really happy.

Well, I got home, no supper, kitchen hasn't been touched.  I asked him what happened, and he got that cold "That Guy" voice and told me if I was going to lecture him about not doing things then he isn't going to do them (huh?)  So much for that.

But then this morning when I got up for work, DH told me that he's "having big problems".  He told me that his moods are going from happy to sad to angry in minutes for no discernible reason.  He said that yesterday he cut some firewood (yay!) and he looked at the chainsaw and had an overwhelming urge to apply the running saw to his foot.  This hugely alarmed me.  I suggested he go to his regular Dr. and ask for help, as the PDOC is 100 miles away (but comes to our town once a week).  DH also told me that thoughts of self-mutilation are popping into his head.  He says he's not suicidal and he believes he is strong enough to fend off the self-injurious urges.

I suggested that DH check himself into PDOC's hospital (as PDOC had suggested before) but DH doesn't want to let me down by possibly missing work and/or getting fired....he also is worried about the dogs needing to go out while I'm at work.  I told him neither reason was worth dying over and that we could and would cope with both.  He said he would just wait until the urges pass, as he knows his emotions will change in a minute anyhow.

I'm really worried.  I want to say "at least you were (mostly) stable when you weren't doing anything....lets go back to the old meds..." but we probably need a medical doctor to tell us that we can do that.

DH has a 2:40pm appointment today.  I hope we can find a way to help him.


"Lil Ol' Me" said...

Babe email me. Leave me a comment on my blog with your email. I will not publish it. We've chatted before. My depression blog is annon but my other blog wasnt. I have new email addy.

Miss Kitty said...

OMG, Carol, this sounds awful. Just awful...poor DH and poor you as well. At least DH has a little bit of self-perception (right word?) right now, in that he can tell something's terribly wrong, and that he needs help. Chain-saw *accident* injuries are sometimes fatal...chain saw *on purpose* injuries are nearly always fatal.
Is there any way you can get DH hospitalized? Seems to me he's becoming a danger to himself...but I don't know what the laws are like in your state, or what your med/psych options are.

You, DH, and the critters are in my thoughts and prayers. (((HUGS)))