Friday, March 21, 2008

Two days on Lithium

Kirby puppy, our blue-heeler mix, age 15

Well, today, DH got up at 5am and let the dogs out.
Then, apparently Kirby's 15 year old puppy tummy wasn't all that fond of the corned beef he got yesterday, Kirby left a little present on the laundry room floor. DH said "I see someone had an upset tummy, huh?" No anger, just a matter of fact, then a cleanup. I still just thought that it was just a better day than usual, in fact, I had kind of forgotten about the Lithium, until I was expecting him to be angry with me because "MY" dog had diarrhea on the floor....but he didn't say anything. That's when I started to wonder.

DH went to his therapy appointment and came back afterwards. I asked him how he felt.

"Weird. Really weird."
"What do you mean? Are you feeling suicidal?"
"No, I mean, I don't know....it's like....the depression is there, but somehow it can't get all the way in....and I don't feel very motivated, it's like that can't get in either. I just feel.....kind of neutral." "Kind of jittery, but kind of neutral." "I don't remember this feeling, it's kind of weird."

And then he told me that he was sad that I was going to work, but he was kind of excited because he knew he'd be able to surprise me with a super-clean house.

Draw your own conclusions. I'm afraid to draw mine. I've been hopeful too many times before.


perphila said...

My prayers are with you!...:)

Pann said...

Hope you have a nice easter... and hope you were treated to a super clean house!